my name is lou, how do you do?

called to serve

2012-01-28T17:39:00.001-07:00

Last Monday I was supposed to go into Tacloban and celebrate Chinese New Year but we didn’t get paid so I stayed home. I did need to do some Internet things so I went next door the Internet café. They have wifi. Sometimes up here in my room I can pick up the signal but can never connect. If I could connect that would save me 10 pesos but I digress from my story.

There was no school on Monday so when I walked in a bunch of my students were in there. They all looked at me, and then looked over to these other white people in the Café with this look like you are white, they are white, so of course you HAVE to know each other. They were missionaries, this was the first time I’d ever seen them, so I didn’t know them.

I wanted to ask them bunch of questions, like if you live in Alangalang where? That was really the only question. They didn’t even look at me (I’ve lived here 17 months and see missionaries all the time, I’ve spoken with them all of 3 times, they are very sketch. And it’s not just because I’m a cute white girl (ha, I laugh), but Mark has said they never talk to him either). Knowing that this is the only time all week they get Internet I left them be. But that is not to say I wasn’t eaves dropping like mad. The one was complaining to the other about these two girls who just got engaged (like there isn’t going to be any girls left when they got back). They were writing emails about the earthquake and the one was a website putting in their work.

I think there are parts about my experience that are harder and easier than their experience and vice versa. Example they have one day a week where they can Internet. That same day is the only day that they can wear clothes that are not hot and restrictive. I live in flip-flops, and I hate it, but I can’t imagine walking down the street turned lake in dress shoes. The language I was trained in is the language the locals speak; the church doesn’t train in that language. Sure they have to live with each other, but they aren’t living with a crazy old lady (who most days I love, but still).

Just an interesting thing. I’ve got a bit of perspective of both, and I bet after both being called to serve here we both go home loving these islands just as much.

you say you want a resolution

2012-01-21T20:49:00.000-07:00

Well here I am half way through January posting some resolutions for the New Year. Which I guess isn’t too bad, BUT this year I’m doing resolutions more on a month-to-month resolution with the year being the goals, so ya it is bad. I’ve got an excuse. I’ve been working on my resolutions.

The first goal, haha, keeping my self-accountable via this here blog. Since leaving the USA this blog has been super neglected. Hopefully this year it will get more love than my resolution thing. So each month, I’m gonna do the resolution catch up on here. Month of January, check!

I’ve got a confession, to me the year ends in November. Most of my goals are things to do in the next months in country. And considering that today actually is Chinese New Year (holler to the Dragon!) and I go to November I’m rocking a super short year, so I have no excuse as far as resolutions go. Another goal is to save as much money as possible while I’m here. January is a bunk month. I started out way in the hole and I hate it. I’ve always hated it. In our bank accounts we need to keep a certain amount or we get charged. Most volunteers live at near 0, but that freaks me out. I hate that I started this month so low, and I hated the reason--tooth extraction. So this month I’ve lived on 1,000 pesos, which is not good, and I had no choice so it doesn’t count. From here on out I’m trying really hard to budget 5,000 or less a month rent included. It shouldn’t be a problem. Hopefully I get paid today.

Another goal of that is to be as brave as possible this next year. I’ve not really figured out any way to do monthly resolutions for this other than, be brave. Any suggestions?

Along with being brave is being calm. It is becoming more and more apparent that I may have a bit of an anxiety disorder. Do the nature of the beast I worry about it way more than I should, but for now now I am trying to focus on how this is just a temporary thing. My main focus will be when I’m trying to fall asleep, not let my mind run through everything at crazy repeat.

And the last major goal is to be healthier. Basically, I want to get ripped. I also want to get so that waking up and running is second nature. This goal actually expands beyond November. I know I’m going to come home and eat like crazy. My life here is the most sedentary I’ve ever been and I’m hoping my metabolism hasn’t changed, but just incase I need running to be habit. Another goal is trying to eat better. A side goal of this is having a clean room. When my room is dirty I tend to keep the yoga mat rolled up. Not this year, so far so good!

Oh and bonus resolution for this month! My parents sent me three pounds of pistachios. The resolution is to make those last as long as possible.

bloggedy blog

2011-08-05T20:49:00.002-06:00

A blog about blogs! Whoa! Sounds crazy, but Imma gonna do it anyways.

I love blogs. I’ve got a great group of blogs in my reader that I update every time I get Internet for more than 15 minutes. You know it makes sense. I love memoirs. Right now I’m in a state where I just can’t get enough of them. I also love books from journals, whether they are real The Diary of Anne Frank or false stories involving love triangles with Massimo and Dave the Laugh (who is way better looking than the movie portrayed). So friends keep blogging.

Also, lately I’ve been in love with doing the blogging myself. I’m between books and between trips to get new books. So I have nothing to read, so instead I type. Hence the recent activity here. I’ve also been doing a lot of posting on that other blog. But wait there is more. A while back when I was living in Albs I started a running blog (yes I’m one of those awesome people) to try to help me to get some motivation going. It worked for a post or two then went whawhawa. When I first got to county and had a running club I posted some, but again with the whawhawa. Now I’m on a hard-core kick and blogging away. Right now it is a mostly iPod centric blog, and full of all my thoughts before 8 in the morning. You can click the link I have for chasing pavement, or you can go to runningfraud.blogspot.com Also, I think you should read the BFF blog that I should have posted over there also.

That is it, for now.

looking good or working good?

2011-08-05T20:48:00.002-06:00

I mentioned in the other blog that I got uniforms, but here is the real story. The non-reader’s digest version.

I don’t hate the uniforms but I do at the same time.

I had a moment.

I’m not really one to toot my own horn. At talent shows I’m always hard pressed to find a talent. However, I am good at teaching. Maybe not lesson planning or curriculum development, but in front of the room I am good. I’ve been working really hard here to be the best teacher I can be, for me, for my teachers, for my students.

So, back to the uniform. I show up to school and all the teachers were so jazzed. It made me feel good. I look like one of them now. Then I get to my Supervisor. Her response was now you are a real teacher. Not now you look like a real teacher. Not now you are one of our teachers. But now you are a real teacher.

It upset me. A lot. What does she think I’ve been doing the past 9 months at her school? Fake teaching? Oh it was upsetting. It goes back to the eternal struggle I have hear of things being ok if they look ok. It is all about appearance, and that is not really what it is all about some times.

So uniforms, who needs them? I guess I do to be a real teacher. Good grief.

more than a story

2011-07-31T20:52:00.001-06:00

Maybe I read too much. I read all the time. I’ve read so many books so many stories here in the Philippines.

Last week I got on email from my dad saying his father was sick. Very sick. I got the email using the wifi at the airport on my way to another adventure. I sent an email back asking to be updated. Then boarded the plane and was busy for days. It was in the back of my head the whole time, but luckily I didn’t really have to think about the whole weekend.

This week I’ve been back to site, alone and I’ve got time to think about it. It doesn’t seem real. It feels like just another book. Each emails a different chapter. Chapter one: he is very sick in the ICU of McKay Dee, his blood is bad, kidney cancer, maybe leukemia, once he gets stable they will take out the bad kidney and do some bone marrow work, he is critical and in pain, I’ll keep you posted. Chapter two: doing better, still in ICU, cancer of prostate and kidney, maybe spread to his bones, or something else, have a fun trip. Chapter three: out of ICU, doing better, now they figure out what is going on, hope your trip is good. Chapter four: Hairy cell leukemia, don’t know what causes it, no cure, treat and hope for remission, not fast moving and fairly rare, control that then take out kidney, hormone therapy for prostate, he has to stay in hospital for awhile. Chapter five: not been published yet. Or maybe it is the phone call. He’s super sick. His blood was basically sugar water, dyed red. Super lucky to be alive. He’s yelling at nurses about heart medicine and being told they don’t care about his heart right now. Yelling at nurses about walking into hospital so he’ll walk out of hospital.

This is all I know. Brief facts, no details. I don’t know if I want details. Right now it is not real, maybe details would make it real. This is a struggle. When I first got here my mom’s mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I didn’t know until months later when she was basically done with radiation. This time I knew day of. Which freaks me out more.

A year ago, before coming, we had a discussion about possible deaths in the next to years. Not a fun conversation, both of my mom’s parents were on the list, my dad’s grandma, and my dad’s father—but just because he’s had more heart attacks than I can remember. As not fun as possible projection is, this sucks way more.

I wish it were just another story.

what a difference a year makes

2011-02-16T18:56:00.000-07:00

February 14, 2011

This weekend Celia and I were talking about how we’ve been at site for 3 months and here for 6 months. That is half a year. Then Celia got to talking about where we were at this time a year ago. What a thought! Not going to lie, a year ago was a very ugly time in my life. I’d not heard much from Peace Corps and I was really starting to doubt things. I wasn’t telling too many people about this idea I had to join the Peace Corps and leave the country for 2+ years in a developing country. So, needless to say a lot of internalizing was going on. I’m sure I slept some, but I feel like I went for a good month without catching any Zs. I was having panic attacks and was pretty much always anxious. It was rough, but obviously I survived and here I am trying to make some impact. I’m very glad I survived, as a friend once said, “only the survivors survive”. Now I’m here and I’m just coming out of the culture shock stage of life and starting to get my hands dirty in work. Heck yes!

February 15, 2011

Also this past weekend it was made official that Mei would be getting a site transfer. Her situation at her site had not been good and after months of trying PC finally said lets get you out of here. This could mean several things, new site same city, new site same island, new site same region, new site same country. Well found out today that the least appealing option was the one they were going with. No details yet, but Mei is leaving Region 8. I’m so very sad about this. But I do hope her new site loves her and she can start to feel like she is actually wanted here. It was hard for her to try to make an impact when she didn’t feel like they wanted her. So here is hoping the best for her!

yan can cook, can lou?

2011-02-10T22:03:00.002-07:00

February 1, 2011

To start with a side, when I was little I use to love to watch Yan Can Cook, and my dad would always be slightly politically incorrect and ask in his best Chinese expression, “Yan can cook, can you?”

Here’s the thing I can’t. This is going beyond may I here. When I moved in I wasn’t cooking, but my Auntie wasn’t home. When she got here and I said I’d like to cook for myself and she said yes of course feel at home. Here we are all these months later and I’m still not cooking for myself. A couple weeks ago she made a big deal about showing me this pan she bought for me. Have I used it, no. Last night I was feeling like some ramen might do the trick, did I boil my own noodles no.

Every day I go home at 11:30 for lunch, but here is the thing… she puts lunch on the table at about 10:30. So not only did I not make it but I’m sharing with the ants and its cold.

Everyday I get home between 4:30 and 5, but here is the thing… she puts dinner on the table at about 4:00. See above paragraph.

I know what I need to do is just not eat that food and make my own. I know this. I’ve told myself, the other volunteers have told, I know. But I also know if I don’t eat it it won’t get eaten, unless it is the rare night my auntie decides to eat. So there is that food wasted. Which kills me.

But as Mei said the other day, swallow your guilt. Oh I hate this. This is a big problem of mine. I’m living here until April (fingers crossed) for many reasons. Peace Corps recommends the family experience for as long as possible. I’m having trouble finding a place. Strike that. I’m having trouble having people show me places. When I got here all I heard about was how safe it was here. Now that I’m looking to make it on my own all I’ve heard is it is not unsafe. And then there is that whole thing that I feel guilty.

My auntie has told me time and time again she said yes to hosting a PC because she was lonely. But here is the thing, I like her and all but I don’t really see myself visiting much if I move out. So basically I’m living with a lady I wouldn’t want to visit just because I feel guilty.

It is also fun, I was coping fare enough here, but once I set April for the time to be out I’ve found all those little things to rub me even more. This is what I signed up for, right? Wish me luck in finding a place!

More on swallowing the guilt. These past couple of weeks I’ve really felt a pull towards home (wherever that is). I’ve got several friends whose lives are not working out quite as well as they deserve. Which kills me. I try to do what I can but I always wonder if what I’ve done has even made a difference and what I can more. I hate this. Now all parties involved are in love with what I’m doing and would be upset if they knew how much they were, for lack of a better word, distracting me. I just like to help people when I can, and it really bugs when I can’t. And I am sure at this point in my life and my friends lives we all understand that I am removed from the scene physically and nothing is expected of me, but gosh it makes me feel bad I can’t do more.

Phrustrations

2011-01-19T21:33:00.000-07:00

My faithful Lou readers, I’ve not forgotten about you. And lets face it, you all know where to find me on the web. But I’ve come back for a post! Ya! Hoorah!

Not going to lie, I’m here to state my frustrations. But it might not be what you think.

Currently at school I have a lot of down time. I’ve been using this time to brainstorm, and oh the ideas I’ve got rolling around in my head. I can barely function. It is so overwhelming how much I see that needs to be done. It is also overwhelming to know that just because something needs to be done doesn’t mean it can be done. Example I got this great idea to do a book club that ends in watching the movie for what we’ve read. How fun would that be? But there is no way I could afford to get a set of books, my school doesn’t have a single TV and no working computer, and people here don’t really eat popcorn. So many ideas that would be great but just aren’t feasible. Luckily I want to be a teacher for the duration, so I can do that in the states some day.

There is also a lot I can do, but here this is frustrating also. There is a lot I can do, but also only so much I can do. I’m one person, and even with school support there is only so much time in a day, and so many days in two years. So how do I prioritize what to do? Which projects do I try and which ones do I leave behind?

Then, because I’m not overwhelmed enough there is the fact that what I see as important could mean nothing to them. The schools here have their own priorities and they may not even come close to aligning with what I think is tops.

Stella came last week to see how I was doing and it lit the fire all the more, but it also brought some calm to the brainstorm. She reminded me I have lots of time and that I can’t do it all. Plus she’s got ideas and has seen this all before. I’m just one person, and I’m sure I’ve already made a difference at some level somewhere.

So for now I’ll focus on my library (I’ve got big plans). The room has two walls with no windows or doors. I’m thinking a world map on one and then a map of the Philippines. Minimal furniture. Color-coded bookshelves. Oh and the uses for the library. A reading club. A weekly game night. Story time. And so much more!

I love it!

Heavy Boots

2010-11-09T04:57:00.000-07:00

So this week is very exciting and to some level lots of fun and the shower is warm, but it is also so very sad. Over the past 12 weeks I've really gotten to know my Leyte people. There were 15 of us and we got really really tight. The 5 in my cluster were even tighter than that. Now I'm saying goodbye. It is amazing how sad that this makes me. I've only known these people for 3 months. Now they are going hither and thither. My best PC friends will be 6 hours van ride away. It is expensive to go there and I'll be super busy at my new site. Plus this week some of them have seemed a little, I don't know stand-offish. It is making me all moody and introverted. I just want to sulk and be sad when really I should be living it up with these people I love.

Filipino Mexican

2010-10-16T19:52:00.000-06:00

I blogged about this elsewhere, but I feel you need some more details on how awesome these tacos were and the amazing experience we had. Below is the first tortillas before we thought of the oat bran.

The kitchen was kind of dark so I was sporting my head lamp. I'd use it to flip the tortillas and also to help Kelly roll the tortillas. We had an excellent system!

Lauren had never cleaned a fish before, so Kelly thought she should be the one! Here she is with it, and it was his turn to wear the light.

She was a natural at it.

Again the spread.

Best pictures ever. These tacos were so good!

just like the oscars

2010-10-03T00:28:00.000-06:00

I was suppose to go Ormoc today, but PC decided it was too far for me to venture to today. So instead I stayed home and practiced making faces (after I went to the beach of course). Monday (tomorrow) I find out my site and most importantly my Supervisor. Which means today the five of us have been practicing make the appropriate faces. As the Filipinos would say, "Who will be the one?" We've got to practice the don't break down and cry right here because you are going to THAT site, but we also have to be well practiced in not looking to over-joyed in case we dodge having THAT supervisor. If I am the one of five I'm sure it will be fine, and if nothing else i know i have an amazing support cluster. Say a quick prayer for me!

not frustrating at all

2010-10-03T00:22:00.002-06:00

September 28, 2010
At this point in my life: life is hard, life is rough, life is amazing, life is good.
My philosophy as of late is to really run with the frustrations and make them as not frustrating as possible. In all reality though, I feel like a filthy hot mess all the time.
At this point in my life it quite possibly could be the heat making me feel like such a hot mess. It finally rained this evening to cool it down, but who knows for how long. This was such a big concern of mine while I was freezing my patooty off in the great false north of Wyoming. I’m seeing that for once I was not over-reacting. It is beyond blazing hot, and I am beyond being able to cope with it. I hate it, but sometimes in technical when I am just sitting there and sweating out of pores I didn’t even know I have my mind starts to wonder and my thought usually is, “Can I really do two years of this? I don’t think so, maybe I should go home now.” Then I hear my thought, and I get so upset with me and curse my self out, all why trying not to doze off. Not frustrating at all.
At this point in my life school has got me going nutso. Again learning and heat is bad combo. Language. I feel like we are learning so much, but I just want to get some mastery of things before blazing new trails. That is frustrating, my main language coups is that I bought meryenda with out speaking any English today. Too bad all I did was point at the one pastry and say usa (one) and then point at the other pastry and say lima (five) and then give the women more than enough money so I wouldn’t have to ask how much. Then I said salamat (thank you) and scurried off. Technical. The situation with my teacher is stressful. The cluster as a whole has hard-core personality issues with our teacher. The communication there is beyond a language gap. We’ve learned recently it has a lot to do with her higher-level position with DepEd. The thing that is the most stressful is that one of us will end up at her school for the duration. Not a pleasant thought, but even more unpleasant is she could be the best option of supervisors. English. This is a totally different kind of frustration. The resources the teachers have are very poor and riddled with grammatical errors. Then we have to teach principals that make sense to us because it just sounds right, but how do you explain that to the children when they don’t know what right sounds like? Not frustrating at all.
At this point in my life my body has no idea what is going on. Everything is off. I’m eating everything in site, which isn’t necessarily anything that has never happened to me before. But the possibility of a tapeworm causing the hunger has never been a plausible reason before. A lot of it is the food isn’t as filling. I’m quite positive I could eat my weight in white rice, and actually probably have since I got here. The food is ok, but the meryenda is wonderful and has hardly any nutritional value what-so-ever. Lets take that healthy banana grill it up then roll it in butter and sugar. Oh and remember those pastries I bought today? I do that every day. There are little bakery bread shop things everywhere. I’m not even a big bread eater, but shove mango and sugar inside and I’ll gladly consume. So far my pants still fit, but for how long? Or am I not getting full and not gaining weight because I actually have a tapeworm? Hahahah Not frustrating at all.
Really the food thing isn’t all that frustrating and if I do gain weight the Filipinos would love that. Thin is not in here. And as far the other things, I’m lucky that I’m in such a place that I can have those frustrations!

A new perspective...

2010-09-10T16:44:00.001-06:00

September 1, 2010
I know what I am about to say will make me sound puffed up, but assure that is not the case. I’ve gained a greater ___________ for what I am doing here. I really don’t know what word to put there: pride, awe, admiration, respect, all those showy words that are not humble at all. I don’t mean the whole Peace Corps thing, but my specific task in the Peace Corps. The schools here are something else.
My technical coordinator is a principal of a school in an area very near here. She has 2,850 students on her campus and only 63 teachers. But she only has 63 teachers because she only has 63 classrooms. There are schools here the students have to take shifts so that every one can get an education. A morning class from 7-11, an afternoon class from 12-4i, and then a night class from 5-9. Can you imagine a kid going to night school? Oh and these teachers don’t have computers, or copiers, or janitors. They do it all by themselves.
For those classes not doing shifts they start school at 8 and go until mid morning, then they have a recess where they go home for meryenda (morning snack) come back to school until noon when they go home for lunch. Then they have school all afternoon until 4:30 where they come home to meryenda again. There is no school lunch service.
Please don’t think it is because they don’t care. They just don’t have the resources.
We were able to meet with the superintendent for the Leyte school district. She was just as driven and motivated as you would expect her to be. The system is doing everything it can to fix it. There are plenty of teachers that are well educated. They have learning standards that all schools must fulfill and tests to make sure it is being fulfilled. The problem is lack of resources, namely classrooms.
I don’t know if I have mentioned this before, but it is really hot here. Hot all the time. Can you imagine an American classroom with 40-50 students in it, with no air-conditioning when the coldest day of the year is around 85 degrees? I hope I have the grit to come and help in any way possible.
The past week has been a slow introduction to my class for the next 10 weeks (this week is already my 4th week here!). The school we are at is the central school for the area, and there are smaller schools for barangay groups. I am in a grade 6 class with 45 students. The students at this grade are 11-12 year olds but there is a 10 year old and several students in each age all the way up to 15.

Laboring on Labor Day

2010-09-10T16:43:00.000-06:00

September 6, 2010

We got shafted on both ends! Haahaha Last Monday instead of celebrating Heroes Day with our host nation we had to start training. Well today instead of celebrating Labor Day with our home nation we are training. To celebrate I took a malaria pill! Oh and on Friday when the kids don’t have school because of Ramadan I’ll be getting shots and learning about STDs. Super fun!

It is funny how Labor Day has me bumming, when before checking my email Friday I had completely forgotten about it. Then Rachel mentioned how there wasn’t a zoo trip, and I got to really be sad about it. Which of course got into other things I’m missing in the ‘Burque.

September is here and soon the state fair will be in town. No kettle corn for me, not even regular popcorn (when the time comes that may be a good package add in… popcorn kernels). No corn dogs and no curly fries.

Then while studying with Kelly and Lauren we started talking about constellations wondering if we could see the Dippers or not. Which then lead to the moon and how her appearances are not as regular. Which means no harvest moon. I love the harvest moon so much.

Oh and then there is balloon fiesta. There are no balloon fiestas here, too hot and too humid. However the first week in October is when I get to go to Manila. I’ll see some of my first Peace Corps friends and find out where I will spend the next two years of my life! Oh I am so excited!

So missing things, but also enjoying this to the fullest!

Cluster Folk

2010-09-10T16:40:00.000-06:00

September 6, 2010

So I’m obviously doing most of my updates on the other blog, but I’m trying to keep that fairly anonymous (no pictures with me in them). So here is where I tell you about my support and life for the next 9 weeks.

So there we are left to right Kelly, Lou, Lauren, and Holly.

Kelly is a kindergarten teacher from Oregon. He is very mellow and reminds me a lot of so many of my friends. Very outdoors oriented. Loves the tunes, and is just very laid back and funny. He and I are buds.

I’m me still, and I look better than this picture makes me out to look.

Lauren is a fresh college graduate from Michigan. She studied social work but has some experience with schools and children. She lives across the street from me and also reminds me a lot of so many of my friends. She is athletic; I go running with Kelly and Lauren in the mornings. We hang out on her porch.

Holly is a university librarian from Tucson. She also is a yoga instructor. She has 2 kids in the states but is not at all like our mother figure. She is like our awesome numerology friend.

Not pictured is Alex (who flaked on us, as usual) and that is probably best. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all (and I’ve already gone too far with the flake comment).

Also not pictured are our teachers Ibeth and Imelda. Without naming names we love one and the other is well an almond joy and not a mounds if you get what I’m saying.

Loo issues

2010-08-29T03:01:00.000-06:00

August 28, 2010

First and foremost, now being away from the power point presentations, I can say with confidence I love the Philippines! Yesterday we got to Palo, Leyte. So beautiful and not dirty and gross like Manila. I can breath again. And the views are not disgusting but rather quite beautiful.
Secondly I need to go somewhere where I have never gone before on this medium… but we are all adults. And I am sorry, but you need to hear this because I need to say this.
Girls get the shaft on this Peace Corps gig. I am now living in a country that does not believe in toilet paper. I have to carry it around with me everywhere I go. Luckily my house had some for me. Also unless I am in home or a more modern public place the toilets are just bowls or even holes in the ground. I have to throw a bucket of water in after I am done. Oh, and the toilet paper I am carrying around in my bag I can’t “flush”, anywhere, regardless if it is manual or automatic. Which means if there is no garbage in the stall I have to carry it and throw it away elsewhere. Fun.
And please let me get more personal, I promise it may never happen again. Or after this it may happen all the time.
This is still on the subject of girls vs. boys. And by that we mean that lovely monthly gift (I can’t believe I am typing about this on a public forum, but luckily you girls are all who read it that I know. But this is an anxiety of mine and I at least know that you can at some level sympathize with me {I hope, or at least can pretend}). Long story short, they do not use tampons here, so this can cause some interesting issues with host families. Something I have been dreading since, well, I was trying to stuff 3-6 months worth in my bag. Well lucky me, I got to jump right into it. I started the morning we left the resort. Luckily my language facilitator told my family and it is good. Also they have children living in France so I hope they understand the whole tampon thing (or is that just America?).
Cramps and a new family, but these cramps are actually from the Malaria pill, I hope. Or the change of diet, or something like that. Because I really don’t want to get my first parasite or amoeba this soon into my Peace Corps gig.
Well ladies, thanks. Oh and please don’t be alarmed, I do love it here. This house has a flush, and also a shower. So I don’t have to worry about the logistics of bucket showers and what that means for my hair length for another three months. Also with internet not being what it is in other places I’ve been typing my blogs for here and my PC blog on word and transferring. Would you rather I put the latest blog on top or but them chronologically so you can just scroll down instead of down and up, then down, then up, etc. I can do either, but chronological would make sense to me.

Need a magic wand or something.

2010-08-10T16:22:00.000-06:00

I think that Disney had the right ideas.
For example many of the characters wear the same thing everyday. I am sure they don't worry about meeting their 80 pound weight at an airport because, well when you have one outfit you don't need to worry about jeans, walking shorts, work pants, athletic shorts, skirts, and that dress for those nice occasions, and that is just the bottom half excluding unmentionables.
Or you could be more like Mary Poppins. Not only did she not have to worry about weight, because hello if those things kept their weight once in that carpet bag she would never be able to fly. Also, she had one carpet bag. It's dimensions were the same, even with a night lamp and coat rack. She would always be able to have 110 inches of luggage.
Yes her bag was practically perfect in every way, but not completely perfect. I think what I am looking for most is a bag like the wizard's in the Sword of the Stone. Not only does it not have weight and dimension issues but it packs itself. He didn't forget anything, not even the crotchety old sugar bowl. Just when the room was empty he was done. Yes that is what I need.
It is not what I have though. I have lists (many not on paper yet), and laundry to do, and a bag that I sure hope works, and lots and lots of soap to try to fit in there. Oh and a week to get it all packed up.

Not quite a Manic Monday, but only because it is Tuesday.

2010-08-10T15:30:00.000-06:00

Yesterday the boss had a tooth ache, went to get it checked out and came back with drugs but no verdict.
Today is my last day shift and it is proving to be long. I get here expecting the boss to be here to set up for the company tourney we have here today. Nope. He was in his trailor. When he came out I found out he'd been to the E.R. yesterday and was now on a cocktail of sorts.
So we had to get this tourney together this morning. Me trying to help him as much as possible and he doing what he can while being high as a kite. We managed and the bull horn sent the construction crew to the links. The boss went to the dentist, a city crew guy took him, and came back and gave me the key and said the boss should not be driving. I of course assume that means he is in the trailor sleeping due to an even more potent cocktail.
So I sat here answering the phone and telling the customers coming in that we don't have tee times until this evening. Sitting here doing nothing but bearing bad news. What fun! Luckily I have my book. Oh wait, today of all days I've forgot my book. So I turned on the TV and continued answering the phone that was ringing of the hook and watched as the time to go home ticked by. Earlier I had told him I could stay longer to help with the tourney but he said he probably wouldn't need me and no details were hashed out.
One of those rings was the boss. Apparently he was not in the trailor. He was at the dentist numbed up so good, and about to have something done and if I could stay. I said yes, and here I sit with no book (another blog to follow because of that). What a day, maybe I can get out of my thursday bar shift because of this.
Oh and p.s. Happy Birthday Boss! Poor guy!

How'd they do this 50 years ago?

2010-07-27T09:29:00.000-06:00

I tell you I am overwhelmed. A lot of it is just not knowing. Another lot of it is that thanks to the world wide web I know bits and pieces of the whole thing. And the current dread is my life, two years, one checked bag, 80 lbs. This seems very extreme, but is this just the American in me? I'm worried about having everything I need. However luckily to discussion boards on the Face I've learned just bring what you think and it will be ok. I hope so. It is hard being isolated waiting for packages and hoping that you didn't forget a necessity. Thank goodness for malls, massive malls in a semi-third-world country.
Now lets get back to the Face. I've typically been a let people invite me to be their friend kind of gal. Don't think this will change, but I'm starting to get friend requests from people I won't meet for another 4 weeks. I've been accepting, but it kind of grates at me. Stranger Danger! hahaha But most of them have found me through a group, a very very helpful group. So this makes it better.
I've got myself all signed up for Skype, and I will most likely be buying a number so ya'll can call me without those ridiculous international calls, and maybe even send a quick text or too. I found out through the Face that I will be getting a phone basically the day I arrive in Manila. I guess texting is huge, 51 percent of Filipinos text at dinner! My dad gave me permission to start practicing last night. What a funny man. That won't be the phone number you will be using, but I'll get you the number. As well as an address for letters and a even better address for all those care packages I know you guys are going to send me. See three paragraphs above about me fearing not having what I need.
Now this has been a technology based post, but I'd also like to mention movies. If I were in Albuquerque I'm pretty sure I'd be living in the theatre. There are so many movies I want to see, and I think that the getting lost aspect of movies would be very beneficial to me at this point in my life. Each day I have a bit of pit feeling at something (usually a great pit feeling, but still nerves are nerves).
Good grief, I'm going to the Philippines.

If you are going to San Francisco...

2010-07-21T16:17:00.000-06:00

I've never been to San Fran, and it looks like I hate yet to go there. I was thinking maybe this would be the year, but apparently not. In years past the Philippine staging was in San Francisco and consisted of oh around 60 people.

This year, not so much. They have 145 of us going and are splitting staging into two groups. One in Detroit and one in Philadelphia. Neither option makes sense, but these are the breaks. I get to Phillie do my staging stuff, then get to wake up early and drive to JFK and then get to fly to Manila. Fly a twenty hour twenty minute flight to my new life! Here goes!

All over the place!

2010-07-20T09:37:00.001-06:00

I know while I'm away you will want to stalk me as much as possible. Well friends, you can read about my Peace Corps adventures at that blog also! Heck yes!

I may be posting here as well as there, please ignore any repeated thoughts, sayings, expressions, etc. Thanks.

On your marks, get set, go... or not...

2010-07-19T19:01:00.000-06:00

One month left, and thank goodness.

I feel like I'm about to run the 800 meters, which is now considered a sprint. Two laps, a sprint. Half a mile, a sprint. Yup that sounds about right. My experience is going to be a long distance sprint. And I'm so ready to hit the ground running. I'm in the start blocks ready and willing to give it my all. Here is the thing though, the guy with the starting gun still hasn't even gone to the store to get the ammo. I'm stuck in the proverbially starting blocks of life, waiting for others to tell me when the race is going to start.

I was talking with a friend of mine about how it felt like I was treading water, but upon thinking more this is way more than treading water. I'm just so anxious, and nervous. The whole scare I had really shook me up and I've not been able to get calmed back down. It was a major stress factor , and even though it is resolved I just can't get calm again. I feel at this point there is not hope either. As each day goes by I'm going to get more anxious and scared and excited and nervous and by the time I'll get there the energy will be so built up it shouldn't be a problem to start in strong sprint.

Not just the mosquitos!

2010-07-14T12:24:00.000-06:00

This post is not one focusing on bugs, but will start with a short aside. They have sprayed here twice and I'm not so sure how good a job was done. The biggest problem I've noticed is at shooting, but that is kind of out of town so maybe understandable. I love shooting, it is so fun! I think I am going to miss it, but am ok with that sacrifice!
Other than the bites from being outside I'm itching with excitement! The drama is being fixed and I'm filling out questionnaires about what kind of family I want to live with and where I want to live. Hoo boy! I'm starting to get so excited, I've finally decided that bit by bit I can let myself! The weeks are counting down. This weekend we are going to Utah to shoot some sporting clays and then get some shopping done. I've been working on a list, and am just anxious about making sure I get everything. I'm wondering what are the things I need to get all I can of before I miss them for oh you know 27 months. Just things like that wrack my brain! There are so many things! Right now I'm debating between a kindle or a new iPod. Which also reminds I need to start making play lists for the next 2 plus years of my life.
These are just all the little things that I can think about getting ready for. There is also the whole I'm-in-for-the-shock-of-my-life aspect of this. The things I couldn't even fathom to prepare for. I'm just a kid from the high desert of Wyoming transplanted into New Mexico and back for stint moving to the PHILIPPINES!!!!!! How do I even start to imagine what it will be like? I've been to the Mississippi in June and had that humidity wasn't anything I remember, or the heat really. Went to Italy once upon a time in the summer, it was hot then, and more humid than Wyoming but again it was ok. Went to Florida once, but it was spring. None of these things are even close to the tropics, to the tropics on an island! Guys, this is so awesome it is scary (no, that is not just an expression)!

Three posts later, what a change.

2010-07-09T12:47:00.002-06:00

An exact month ago I was singing praises for a shipping company. I now spit on its name. This week has been a gross week. I was informed that all my travel documents are AWOL. And I do mean all. My questionnaire, my not one but two visa applications, my pass port application as well as the existing pass port. Gone, and of course through circumstances I didn't have the tracking information any more. Holy Panic Batman!
So I made the call yesterday A.M. and was told to wait while it was seen what could be done. Luckily Book Club is very good. One to get lost in, and also one that keeps you googling... so far every thing is true (well minus details of course). Getting more calls to wait some more. Giving an appropriate time to wait, and then finally hearing the action that needs to be taken.
A PDF of my Visas have been sent, PDFs for pass port documents are being sent (now I get to file a missing Pass Port report as well), and ways to do the questionnaire have been discussed. Luckily because they have my resumé I can just email a picture and skip that step mostly, which thank fully puts me right back on track if I get those other things done, and brown comes with my birth certificate (another added stress factor, that won't be detailed).
Yes, again, waiting for stupid rotten UPS. Apparently I am not the only one in my group that they felt ok with losing the documents. I am not the only one doing this all over in a daze. That makes me feel better, but man this still sucks.

Sanka... ya dead?

2010-07-01T14:48:00.002-06:00

Remember in Cool Runnings when they first arrive in Canada and the poor Jamaicans are freezing, and then John Candy says "It's not so much the heat, it's the humidity that'll kill you."?
Well friends, that is what I'm worried about. I am pretty certain that I am in for the shock of my life with this fancy fangled weather phenom. Ok it is not that bizarre but for a girl that has lived in a desert her whole life it is.
The Philippines has around 15 typhoons a year, earthquakes and there for tsunamis, and 18 of their 37 volcanoes are indeed active. These I think I can survive, but living in the tropics? Not so sure. Tropical marine climate. I'm going to melt I just know, but the hair won't melt with me. Nope it will be a poof that will never dry. I hope I don't have to chop it off. Is it a bad sign that I had a dream that I only took one hair tie and you couldn't buy any there? I hope not, because I had that dream.
I'm sure as this becomes more of a reality I'll worry about bigger things, but for now I'm trying not to. I'm trying to keep the excitement to a low, so that I can sleep a little.

No time to say hello, goodbye...

2010-06-18T11:01:00.001-06:00

Today is the 18th, which means that tomorrow is the 19th. Holy freak! That means that I have two months. Now I know that I leave on a Thursday but I've not sat down and looked at a calender and been able to realize what that means exactly. I know that this weekend is booked because brother is getting married (hear that Rach, it is finally his wedding also)!! Then there is a weekend that revolves around the 4th! And the last weekend of July is OysterRidge. And it feels like there is no time. I waited and waited and now it is just happening all so fast. I've been doing a lot to get ready, but gosh I hope there is time. I really want to make a trip back to the Land of Enchantment but I don't know when. I'll guess I'll just have to sit down and look at a calendar and find out flight plans (I don't arrange that, SATO does) to see what can actually happen. Oh I love this (I do).

What can brown do for you?

2010-06-09T22:05:00.001-06:00

So here is the skinny (I'll try to keep it thin, because it is a long story and there is no such phrase as so here is the lardo). For the past year plus I've been working at drastically changing my life. I applied to the Peace Corps last spring, got nominated last fall, jumped through hoops this winter, waited and waited and waited this spring and found out monday/tuesday I was getting an invitation. The waiting then continued in painstaking fashion. Let me tell you... the months of waiting were relatively harmless. The breakdowns were basically in check and I only had a handful of panic attacks, and only one worthy of a late night phone call home. However waiting for a package to get all the way from DC to Ktown was awful. I slept little to not at all. The little part came about the time the alarm clock went off. I was a complete and utter grouch, and distractions did little good. But guess what! Not a grouch any more. Went to Rotary tonight and came back to see the evening UPS had been here (believe you me, had it been another package from brothers wedding I would have screamed!)
And what a package it was. I've got a job in the Philippines (not top 2 choice, but still WHOA!!) and I tell you I am so stoked. I have ten days to really make up my mind, which I know is a yes... but it is a lot to take in.
So it turns out that one of the saddest days of my life (see the great exodus of May 2010 a post earlier) was not in vain. I am still sad I could not spend some time saying good bye to my people, but think that my family time is way more important. Also I was able to sneak out in the night (or 3 day weekend whilst people were away) to make it so the awkward goodbye hugs were kept to minimal numbers. I done did the right thing, and good things are coming!

Not so enchanting...

2010-06-04T10:40:00.001-06:00

I've been out of New Mexico for a week. I'm not as sad any more, and to be fair it is not that I'm unhappy... just very sad. However, I am adapting and finding my Ktown groove. This week has made me go just short of batty. But this should quickly come to an end and I should be learning more about my future here shortly as well. I'm loving being with my family... but it is a change to not live alone. I'm missing all of my many many peeps in Albuquerque. All the awkward goodbyes turned into me weeping as I left the state of New Mexico. But things are good, and that is good.

They work for peanuts.

2010-04-13T21:36:00.000-06:00

You didn't think I'd go to the zoo and not see the elephants, right?

Well I did and look how completely awesome. The baby is adorable. As much as I love the polar bears the elephants are my favorite part of our zoo.

The birds and the beast were there!

2010-04-13T13:42:00.000-06:00

It was my birthday last week and I went to the zoo! Here are the things I found picture worthy!

Loved this guy. Find him beautiful!

A new zoo staple is this guy! He is massive.

An old zoo staple. Love the polar bears, but their behavior makes me sad. They need to be in the wild.

You don't even have to go to the peacocks, they come to you.

Another staple, what a life!

Can't tell but these are seals at play. Love the seals! Have to see them each time as well!

They had camel rides on this trip. Didn't do it, but loved this guy!

Love the zoo, and love trips as an ode to a birthday!

If you are ready to rock, I'm ready to roll.

2010-04-13T11:52:00.000-06:00

I went to Moab for Easter Jeep Safari. For those of you not in the know, that is like the premiere Jeeping event/local. I drove up and camped with the family. Family being the usual suspects (papi, mam, and brother) as well as a bonus tent mate. The bonus tent mate had not been to Moab before so we took her on a nice little hike to a Utah must see.

This is Delicate Arch, and yes it is gorgeous (license plate worthy even), but it is not the best arch out there. However I did enjoy the hike out, except for when the wind was blowing and the sensation pounding through my shins as we traversed down. Speaking of traversing, we traversed down this!

After the hike we went on a jeep excursion. This (above, and below as well I guess) is Wipe Out Hill.* We were going to go down it. I had to get out and spot in case things got sticky (they didn't, but I made sure of that). This is where I led my father.

He was grateful. "Thanks Lou," he said.

Then said, "See you later." Not really. He was just moving on down the hill farther so he could stop and talk to a man about a horse and we could get out and enjoy the sights.

For added emphasis here is Wipe Out Hill from the bottom. The picture does the ledges no justice.

Then, sadly, the camera battery died, and even more sadly I am not feeling up to swiping pictures from peoples Facebook. But the next day we went on a beautiful trail with a great lunch stop.

Moab was a blast (see below how happy I am). I am glad I got to go! Love Moab!

*No jeeps were harmed in the making of this post.

I ain't afraid of no posts!

2010-04-12T08:10:00.002-06:00

Friends, I've got some posts coming. More than one. Oh yes! Pictures too! Posting makes me feel good!

Rise and shine short one, Kung FuuuUuu today!

2010-03-31T13:22:00.000-06:00

I love commercials. Ahh I said it! I love love the Hillshire Farms commercials. The cheerleading chant ones. And I have a new favorite. There is a fish sticks commercial with a cute cute little girl. She has the box and starts interegatting her mom and I love it. "What is this 'minced'?", "You feed me 'minced'?", "Have you ever caught a 'minced' fish before?" So cute and funny! I totally love that. It reminds me of the old Sven commercials.

They say that breaking up is hard to do...

2010-03-31T13:11:00.000-06:00

This week is a second spring break of sorts and I am stoked! However in looking back I've not really blogged about my last spring break, or really of anything. Life is good! I'm happy and busy. I love working my two jobs. Lately, due to testing, subbing has been less than challenging and heartbreaking. Those poor kids. Eleven days of testing is not fun. I don't even think I had eleven finals in all of college. Also how crummy is it to have testing right after spring break! Lame. Versace (as my brother calls it) is good. I really enjoy the people I work with and it is nice to see people you love and deal with similar things with them.
Now spring break was very uneventful. The highlight was a St Patrick's day run to Chic-Fil-A. Now I could go on all day about the goodness of that place. Really spring break was getting to sleep in everyday and not dealing with those 4 am calls from Sub Services. This is why I am so stoked for this Spring Break. I've got a lot to do. Pack and make sure I have everything. I've done my snack run. Now I need to jam the iPod with road jams. I need to get some Rudy's and other goodies, and maybe even run to the recyclers and vacuum. Then work tomorrow morning and hit the road. Tomorrow is suppose to be snowy which is a bummer. Wool socks for the tent for me! A post Moab post is for sure to come, but I wanted you all to know now just how darn stoked I am!

Thanks so much Adam...

2010-03-23T20:03:00.000-06:00

Sleep sleep sleep. I am getting more, I'm getting more without help. I'd be able to get more if it weren't for this darn shoulder. My mom says that it is my rib. She talked to a guy in my dad's building who informed her that those ribs are not as unmoving as we would like to think. They, like other body parts, can pop in and out of place. I have one such rib. Now for most people, the fix is easy. Find a corner and do a little jig up against it. Mine however has a should blade in the way. Which means it causes me pain clear up into my deltoids and trapezius. Not cool. Sometimes this keeps me up and sometimes the fact that I'm up tossing and turning makes this flair. Saturday I woke up good, Sunday I woke up good, yesterday I woke up good (I even turned to grab something and heard a pop under my armpit and it felt great!), today I woke up good, but within the last couple hours it is starting to hurt again. Not cool.

The hills are alive!

2010-03-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

I need days like today. Just beautiful! I had a good class today and was done early so I got to go out and be outside. I don't know, just when it is so beautiful outside it just makes me feel so empowered. So, Kid you'll move mountains. I love it, I need it, and regardless of what happens, I WILL move mountains.

Special shout out to Dr. Seuss this time around. Happy 106th birthday plus a day!

Running to the shelter...

2010-03-02T22:10:00.000-07:00

Oh sleep, what a difference you make. I'm feeling rough, and I think I am going to feel rough for awhile yet. However, I think I should be able to manage it. I finally caved and bought some Tylenol PM want to be. Last night I took a half a dose, and I don't know if it helped that much, or it was just that I actually slept for once, but I do know that this morning I woke up and thought, "Hey, I'm actually waking up." It was a good feeling. However I did take it before even attempting to toss and turn. Which I don't know if you are suppose to do it that way or not. I just knew I needed sleep, my sanity needed sleep. I just hate the fact that I took something. I'm very au natural fight through. I bought a bottle of IBU Profin when I was a freshmen and finished it this past July (that is a long time, and honestly before last February I could count on my hands how many pills I'd taken). I just don't do it, I never have, and I don't think I ever will (sorry Pam, your kind will have to get rich off of others, not me), however I did it. I got a little help. So huge! Tonight we're going to try it without. I just don't know how long to toss and turn before poppin' half a dose. Hopefully that won't happen.

Turn and face the strain...

2010-03-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

How is it I am not the least bit afraid of the changes that my life my take but I am terrified that they may not come to be? By terrified I do mean that having a panic attack to end all (for me at least). I even broke down and sought help. Which is huge for one as independent and stubborn as me (this goes way beyond Aries stubborn). However recent news was too much for me to try to mull over and get 8 hours of sleep a night (at time of panic attack I don't think I'd even come to close to 8 for the week). I blame what ever sort of ADD I possess for my lifestyle of tossing and turning. Well we are back on track, but I feel so fragile. I've got the perspective that my family loves me, and great support from friends. I've had reminders that worrying about it is going to do nothing but make me sick. So while time may change me, and I need to do my best to not trace that time.

Special shout out to David Bowie this time around.

Bustin' down doors and taking names.

2010-02-02T17:29:00.002-07:00

Today was my only day off from teaching, and so in search of a new job for today I took some liberties and got all picky. Nothing that a show up time before 8, nothing on the west side, and that was about it. Oh I found a keeper with some added benefits. I got to go teach at the kids school! The same kid I spent my summer with! It got me near a Chic-Fil-A that I could get food without worrying about parking! Also this location not only had a show up time not only after 8 but almost 9! Which means I could take my time this morning, and it was a good thing.
To be awesome I woke up at about the same time and really took my time getting ready. I tell you my PB and J was perfecto! Well when I stepped out to go to school I noticed that I was trapped. I could not get the door knob to my gate to turn. So at 8:15 in the freezing in my nice red slacks I'm having to jump a 5'10" wall! Oh I was so upset. Once on the outside I tried to get in with my key and all systems were a NO go! I got to school and had to call the Landlord, which was stressful enough (I hate the fun) then I got an answering machine (I loathe answering machines) so I had to leave a rambling message about scaling the wall and how I would be busy all day and not able to answer the phone. I'm sure I sounded a hot mess.
Then the day started. My class was a blessing, the only thing the angels did was break the door. No lie. Broke the door! I had to get the teacher to come push on the door while I pulled and finally it popped and the whole building shook (no exageration, portables are not as sturdy, or quiet for that manner, as one would hope). Luckily that was my only complaint, and I really didn't have to leave a note with any names. And also luckily I've got a new lock on my gate.

So what if my joy is early?

2010-01-30T21:52:00.000-07:00

You don't even know how badly I wanted to go to LA. I love snow! But circumstance were such that I could not get away this year. So last night, instead, I went bowling in honor of a friends birthday...This is not a post about bowling, but I would like to mention some of the awesomeness that was. I totally broke 100 twice, and I'm not saying 101 and 104 I'm saying 124 and 124! Friends those are not just killer crazy cool scores, those are killer crazy cool winning scores. I won both times we played. Can I get a woot woot? I even beat the birthday boy (well of course I did, I won!), but in his (and everyone else's) defense I may have been the only one whose BAC was the same upon arriving and leaving....Now back to the blog, we went for his birthday. The only thing is his birthday is not until monday. Which means that Febraury is also not until monday (funny how that works, what with his birthday being the first and all). However it is like he has having a four day birthday, I am already in full swing for the second month of the year!
I love this! As I was booking my work I noticed this week is Ground Hog's Day--loves it! Then there is the Super Bowl! Shout out to the O's! I am stoked!
Then there is the piece de resistance! Well there are two, but you trying to make piece de resistance plural. I don't know which I am more excited before. I've said it before and I'm saying it again, but I love Valentine's Day. I do! And in light of recent circumstances I am just as stoked as ever. I've been thinking about what to wear for subbing, and work and church for like a month now! It has to be just awesome! I am really blessed to have such awesome people in my life. Seriously I am in awe! I am so giddy, getting giddier by the moment to type about it!
Second highlight! I've said it before and I'm saying it again, but I love the Olympics. I love the summer games so much, but I feel like the winter games may have a softer spot in my heart. I've been to winter Olympics! Oh it makes me wish even more I went this weekend. Too bad they don't start on the 14th! That would be awesome!
Well there you have it friends, another ramble from the boredom of my new place! Get off work friends so we can go to see Ghostbusters already, gosh!

Strappin on the tennies.

2010-01-26T17:09:00.000-07:00

So usually at this point in my life I'm at work. However when a schedule change came up, I opted to take some me time and not use the good ol' V as such a crutch. Which means a night to just be. How lame is it that on my first night off in months I'm going to go in and eat? (Let's say not lame at all. A-I get to order whatever I want, employee menu only is null and void when one is not clocked in. B-I've yet to by groceries, and cereal won't cut it for this hunger.) So for you that means a third post (3 posts in an hour, you are lucky readers I tell ya.)
So my training partner and I decided yesterday that we needed to get another half in this spring. Stop what you are thinking, I'm not one of those freaks that runs on half of a marathon and than can't stop rambling on about how life changing it was. At least I don't think I am. I just think that yes I did it and that is amazing, but I also think that doing something once isn't proof positive you can do it again. So I've started looking for May or April. One I am kind of intrigued with is the one on Base. I've still got some looking to do, but regardless of the race I'm in training again.

Filling the void.

2010-01-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

What does one do when their best friend needs space? I've never thought myself to be so reliant on others thoughts and opinions of me, but I guess when you find someone who you've put a lot of time into forming thougths and opinions about them, you kind of like the fact that they do the same. Which is probably why it is such a blow when they throw a wrench into what your relationship is. I've got a best friend, and our relationship was very undefined and we thrived. Well, it has come to a point where there has been a definition thrown in, and along with the definition a need for space. Which is a major blow to the emotions. Thank goodness for the friends and family.
Now I know the friendship will survive (I hope), but just the whole getting over the hill to the way things should be. In the mean time, I'm going to miss those times we had. They were nothing special. Any one can go to BWW or Chic-fil-a, or Boba, and I can real alone just as well as reading aloud or being read to, and by gum if any one can do it I can. And I guess I can sit and wait for the BFF to stop with the freak out and be a friend again. In the mean time, I can now enjoy all the popcorn I want without worrying about noise pollution.

An early spring clean.

2010-01-26T16:49:00.000-07:00

Life in the Casa de Lou is coming along alright. I really like it here, and soon I'll be use to the hissing and clacking of the heater, and the way the way my own private courtyard makes the wind swirl, and the way the creaks creak. Oh and soon I'll actually manage to haul my stuff down the street to the Salvation Army. Upon moving I totally went crazy and cleansed my life out. I've got rid of some old stuff. Honestly, did I need to keep all of the information on my iPod shuffle (I'm talking the very first shuffle ever that I bought five years ago, that died on me 3 years ago shuffle)? Nope, so I chucked it. Just like all those t-shirts from my lovely time in high school (yes, I loved being fit and all that, but I'm 23 now and I've got way better memories to cling too {no Zoo shirts were thrown out in the process is what I'm saying}). So the move was a great way to cleanse the system. Which is good, because my place is very compact, in fact some friends of mine have gone as far to say it is cozy. Which is a great way to describe it, and even better considering it is coming from boys. I have great friends, that make the being alone not so lonely.

At this point in my life...

2010-01-04T15:19:00.003-07:00

I've never been one to make resolutions. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for setting goals and getting them done. But if you are bettering yourself just because it is the start of a new year then how sincere is that desire? That is why those resolutions work so well I guess.
That being said my resolution is to drink more water. I started this way back in training and I'm still working on it. I'm waiting for the stars to align to keep training. Until then, it's time to reflect. On the year we just had and the year to come.
In the past year I've grown like crazy. I've turned feisty and this is a good thing. I've grown up, and am glad to announce I'm not done with the process. I'm still a child at heart, but realized it is in heart only. I am a full fledged adult and I'm going to run with it this year (last year, I'm embarrassed to say, I ran from it).
I've got such hope on my horizon. Still to early to discuss in full, but believe you me: the ones who know are so pumped! Sorry for those readers left in the lurch. I want to scream it on the roof tops, I do, but as much as I want to count all those chicks I've got to be aware of those that might not hatch. Honestly I hate that! I know that I can make the best out of either... a year ago I didn't know that.
I'm glad to be in the classroom again. I am not so glad that I was such a pansy about getting a classroom. I feel like a failure, but I feel like I am going to be better in the long run. I take a notebook and take notes like crazy. I notice what is on the walls and absorb absorb absorb. Honestly, the best thing about subbing is learning what NOT to do. I get to learn from my mistake as well as learn from others! Bonus!
Lately, and I don't know where, I've developed a new phrase: "At this point in my life...I don't care, I'm ok with that, it doesn't matter, etc." It sounds like an attitude of having little or no empathy, but it's not. It is more of me finally being aware of who I am and what I want at this point in my life. Believe me if it matters to me I'll be blowing the trumpet. But the focus on things that make little difference is very low. And at this point in my life, it's a good thing.
So to wrap up,
At this point in my life:
   I'm happy with my relationships. I love my friends, I dig my coworkers, and feel content and not at all wanting.
   I'm getting back on the in shape wagon. I've come to grips with my new figure, and as unfair to people out there as it may seem. I'm embrassing skinny and staying healthy.
   I'm ready to be on my own. I'm ready to make dinner for myself at night and get my self to work in the morning. I'm comfortable with who I am, and comfortable to be that who by myself.
   I am happy to not be married at 23 like my mother and her mother would prefer (I couldn't do what I hope to do if I was married). I'm so excited for those married friends and those getting that way, and some day not too soon hope to start a family of my own. Until then I'm going to trudge on in single, confused bliss.
   I'm wishing you all the confidence I finally have in all your endeavors.
Happy New Year!

Reading tea leaves...sorta

2009-12-02T12:41:00.001-07:00

Because I am waiting for the car shop to call you get two posts in one day. That is huge considering I've been averaging a post a month.
This post is an ode to a book. An ode to a book club, well at least half of a book club. The Vivace half of book club is in love with our latest selection, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. I love it, and readers you are free to borrow it. You will love it. Every time we are at work we have to try not to talk about it. I mean pulling teeth would be easier for us than not talking about it. This book is full of literary references. We were not so sure about one reference (I will not mention it, in case it is obvious to others that this man did exist). We were discussing if he was real then moved onto other characters. Towards the later end of the evening I was drinking some Celestial Seasonings tea. We all know that they are quote people. Well on my tea bag on the string was a quote from said character!!! No joke! I have the evidence!
For those readers who are thinking at this time "What string and paper on Celestial Seasonings?" I think it is because these bags are kind of designed for restaurants. For those readers who are thinking at this time "What are you talking about Lou with paper and strings and tea?" I'll explain. One time when in Boulder we went to Celestial Seasonings. It was awesome! We learned that tea you buy from the store does not have strings and tags because they can save tons of waste from going to land fills by just having the little pouch. Cool huh? If you are ever in Boulder go to the Celestial Seasonings. See how long you can last in the peppermint room. It will rock your socks off and clear your sinuses!

I don't want my horse to die...

2009-12-02T12:23:00.001-07:00

First, I am so sad about my blog background. I was checking it out and it was all gone. I guess that is what I get for using someone else's papers. So I had to redo it, and sorry it is plain and boring. However the colors are all of my choosing! Yay some creative genius!
Now to the really crushing news. My car is out of commission AGAIN. It is very frustrating. They think it is the fuel pump, maybe it was the fuel pump the whole time. My car is old and I love it. We've gone lots and lots of miles together. We've been to Wyoming and back quite a few times. The beautiful Tortilla flats in AZ. Done a couple road trips to Farmington and Gallup. Been to Los Lunas countless times. Oh and there was that one time we went to Mexico. I love that car, missing hub cap and all. I want it back! I want it back pronto! Boo!

Thirteen miles later...

2009-11-09T14:06:00.000-07:00

So it has been awhile since the last post. It has been a crazy while also. I feel terrible with how self absorbed I am. I also hate the increase in emotional breakdowns. What can I say, after being so darn tough for 22 years, one deserves to cry a little in her 23rd year of life. And so what if a little means a lot. Honestly before this year I could count using all my appendages the number of emotional break downs I had. Which, including my nose, is less body parts than years of living.
I've come to realize I'm ready to be an adult. Things that scared me a while back I'm starting to realize that I do have what it takes. This of course is due to lots of convincing by those around me of how awesome I can be, and with me finally believing them. Oh self worth, how priceless you are! I think a huge part of this was doing the Duke City. Kids I ran a half of a full marathon! I ran the whole way! I did it in record time (can we just over look the fact that the first time is always record time please)! It was huge for my confidence. I've always been timid about just all of who I am. Humility wasn't ever really a struggle for me. Pride cycle wasn't a huge trap for me. However, I am proud with what I did. Pleased as punch people! If I can do that I can do anything. That is new mantra material right there folks.
So here we are going forth with moxy and gumption. Trying to stop shedding those tears of doubt and worry far less, and just be back to having that glass being half full instead of just looking for the dang vessel to begin with.
To be cocky, I've figured out I might just rock!

I can run for miles and miles...

2009-10-06T17:34:00.002-06:00

So goals have been set. The biggest goal of course is to not die, with the underlying aspect of that being finishing. I will be very happy and content if I do that. However this is not enough for a certain running mate. He will be happy if I don't die (I hope that is everyone's feelings), but it wasn't enough. So here they are: Finish in two hours and twenty minutes. I had to do some talking to get it up from just two hours. At one time this seamed do-able. However I am not so sure anymore.
Last week was a killer. It did not happen as far as I am concerned. I had a bit of break down. By break down I mean I was ready to throw my shoes away and give up. Luckily it was all mental (which will be my biggest hurdle for this whole crazy ordeal). I snapped out of it. Personally I blame that mental hiccup on hormones. But that could be a lie. Then I got sick. C thinks it was H1N1, but either way with the sniffling, coughing, trouble just breathing, aching and additional aches and woes of being a girl it out right sucked and sidelined me.
Sunday was the two week mark. We celebrated by not running and going to Balloon Fiesta with all intentions of running in the afternoon. However my running mate wasn't feeling so great. Which worried me. It was too close to the race. Luckily though by the end of the day he was feeling fine. Monday we went on a run to end all runs. It was awful. My lungs killed me and I had a bit of an O-no-I-can't-breath-this-isn't-good-I'm-going-to-hyperventilate-now panic attack. Lots of fun let me tell you. But today I went and was able to clear my lungs out a little and just had a nice little wheez to my step.
Friends I think I can do this.

A fair is a veritable smorgasbord orgasbord orgasbord...

2009-09-23T08:26:00.000-06:00

So I love the fair. Wait, scratch that. I love the food at the fair. In all reality the fair is not something I love. In fact it stresses me to the max. So many people. Not only people. but people of which you can tell were not of the best upbringing. Sure I like to see the Hispanic arts, and coincidently neither do the larger part of the crowds. However as much as fewer people is a draw I really like it for the tin and wood words. This year there wasn't as much. Oh and I do like the "petting zoo". Too bad the only petting I can recall going on there is the people with the poor upbringing. This year though I did fall in love. There were these little twin dwarf goats. They were so springy. They were just born earlier this month and they stole my heart. This is huge because I find goats scary and demonic. It is those eyes! These little ones were so cute though. There was two of them and the one couldn't figure out how to get off the princess slide set up, and at the same time its twin could not figure out how to get up it. So the daring one just jumped right off and over its sister. Let us see, what else? Sure I like the Indian Village, but only if they are baking bread or doing some dances, the food isn't much of draw. I do also like to meander through the school arts, but that is it. So with so little to like there, and so much to just completely stress me why do I go? Because I have yet to discuss what I love about the fair. FOOD! If I had my way I would walk in, get a corn dog and a brick of curly fries, eat it up, then quick like a bunny find the kettle corn buy some and leave. In my opinion well worth the 7 dollars it took me to get in. However I've never done that and yesterday was no different. Yesterday was worse. It was 10 dollar day. Which means 10 dollars gets you in and a free go at the Midway. The worst part of the fair. The rides make me hurl and the folks make me hurl if I haven't already. This time it was extra crowded, shortest line I saw was 50 plus feet. It was awful. So we just walked through, found some food and left. Another stressful trip to the fair (and some people adore it beyond belief) done, and now for some left over kettle corn.

Putting all your Labor's aside.

2009-09-02T10:32:00.003-06:00

I so want to go to Moab this weekend, but unfortunately I can't. I have to teach on Sunday and work at Vivace. Which one do you think I am more excited for? I have been thinking for about a solid month and half on what to teach and still can't narrow it down. Sorry in advance to my sisters. I am stoked to host with Dani and Danielle. I love those girls. I wish they didn't live so far away. So while I will not be in Moab, which bites, but I do get to do my favorite thing ever: the zoo. Labor Day is zoo day! I love it! Best idea we've ever had, ever. Heck yes!

Life is a maze and love is a riddle.

2009-09-01T17:09:00.004-06:00

Those are the lyrics to one of Anna and my favorite songs. Oh is it true, I am so lost and perplexed. Apparently I learned how to cry this year, and I've been good at it. Which is hard. It is not me. I hate how easily the water works have been coming the past 3 or 4 months. How are you suppose to talk to a close friend about your woes when not but seconds before she is complaining about some girl crying in the parking lot at a dance? How am I suppose to work on become an adult, wait a confident adult when all the stress makes you just want to cry? Or makes you cry when you don't want to? Nobody wants to see that. Well my dad does, but that is just because he feels it is his right to look at his daughter when he has caused some water works. Sounds harsh, but it was said in humor so don't judge him. But he doesn't really want to, and neither do the besties, or any of the red heads in my life, or the Vivacers, or the marrieds, or any one else. However it is what I've been doing, and probably what I have been doing best. I'm willing myself to cry just in front of certain people, but probably the people that should not be first in line to help.

Will this end? Hopefully. I've contacted a baker's dozen worth of principals this week. I've been in contact with previously contacted principals. None of them hated me, which is a confidence boost. I've been told they would keep me in mind and pass my info on for subbing.

So I'm just trying to figure out who I am and make it out the maze, and figure out all the riddles that are thrown into the maze all in one healthy piece.

Song: The Show by Lenka

Is a crisis of confidence at 23 considered a quarter life crisis?

2009-08-24T16:45:00.003-06:00

I feel like I should be going to school. Not in the sense that everyone is a Lobo, but more in the sense that I want to go back to the early 90s and be back in Elementary school. Oh and I'd really like it if I could just do 3rd grade over and over again. Who needs middle school or high school. Kids can be mean, and the odds of them being mean increase the older they get. Well unfortunately this in not a possibility. Now as I am looking for a classroom, or a position in a classroom I'm scared to death.

Am I really ready to be an adult when really I just want to bound around the monkey bars? Ready or not it is the facts. So now my life consists of phone calls, letters, doing and redoing applications. Plus I'm still clocking some hours with the Os (whom I am eternally grateful, or is it who?--thanks Wyoming public schools for never quite setting that straight) and clocking hours at the Vi-vace. The fact is I don't feel like I can do it. I am so grateful for all my many adoring fans who think I can, family included, and hopefully someday (soon) it will click. There is also that fear of putting everything I have out there and still not being wanted. Now with my fears I know somewhere in my brain that they are false fears, but what if they are true and I really am not good enough? My quarter life crisis would be a whole life crisis. It'd be over just like that.

What is there to keep your fears from driving you insane? Luckily I love my life here at the O's and it has been confirmed I am not considered a free-loader (so they say, and for my sanity I am choosing to believe it). I love my life at Vivace and wish I could see those guys more. So glad I could spend some off clock hours bowling with them. Oh and there is church. Hours and hours of church each week. I tell you, how are you suppose to find a job when you are in church 40 plus hours a week? Exaggeration I know, but I do find it overwhelming. Plus to add that outside of Sunday it is more a less a marriage factory, and I seem to be on recall. Luckily my friends from UNM are en masse in Mass or other such places. So, I don't have to juggle them as well. However I desperately need their return in October. Oh and I'm one more x-ray away from not having to add my mouth to my anxiety. And then there is running.

I'm not making this up about being insane. I am. Why else would I agree to run 13+ miles? Oh! and run them all at once? At first I was scared beyond belief, but I'm actually building confidence here. I'm running like never before and I am currently in better shape than I have ever been. Ever. Oh and my father would be pleased to hear that after 15 or so years of harping and lecture am I finally properly hydrated. Heck yes! Too bad, that just as a feared, I have to go to the bathroom all the time. I swear it is such a waste of time! Pleased to say that when I do make it to work out I average just shy a ten minute mile and can easily rock out 3 or 4 miles. Two more months and 10 more miles.

If none of this works I can be a fish monger. Yes that sounds like fun. Seattle here I come. Or if that does not work I can write novels. I've got a heck of start with this here post.

Worst Fourth of July ever!

2009-07-03T09:57:00.003-06:00

In the Sargent household we are 4th of July people. We would honestly exchange Christmas for another 4th; we just love it that much. For one thing the brother's birthday is today (what a lucky guy to have his birthday one day before the most awesome day of the year). Second it is such a friends and family holiday. Sure other holidays are all about family and some are all about friends, but how many are about both? Thirdly it is at the peak of summer. The weather is beautiful. Fourth is the Fourth is all about food glorious food. Macaroni salad, ice cream, sun tea, hot dogs, hamburgers, chips, and on and on. A day for the grill is a good day! Oh and last and most important is the fireworks of course. Ask any one who knows me and they will tell you I love me some pyrotechnics.

Well, this 4th has me bummin'. I'm glad to be spending it with my friends down here, they are very much a part of my family. However some of them have gone out of town and my fam family is northward. Oh and let's talk about the weather. Rain rain rain. Which kind of puts a damper on the BBQ. Which is my number one beef with this Fourth. I'm kind of this soft food kick. Not by choice of course. But let's just rule out anything delicious from the program. No hot dogs or burgers or anything requiring chewing. I'll just have a protein shake with a side of ice cream. However the damp weather does make for less of a fire danger. Too bad I'm not in Wyoming where the at home fireworks are legendary. I'm talking border checks to make sure out-of-staters don't sneak them into their state where fireworks are lame or illegal.

So instead of having an epoch 4th. I'll have to make the most of what I do have. It should be fun. The Branch is going all out. So I guess all is not lost. And a bonus, I won't look like I get decked on the 4th because my swelling is down.

Nurse, could you pass me the scalpel?

2009-06-30T11:39:00.003-06:00

Well today was dooms day. It was perfect, which I think is a bonus. However it is still not something I would like to do ever again. I got there right on time and was taken straight back, first patient of the day. They started the local anesthetic (24 hours ago I wanted to be sedated, but what can you do) and took some X-Rays. To my dismay they decided to go through with the ordeal. They explained that they would be cutting across three teeth, removing the bone and performing a filling on one maybe two of my roots. They explained about the risk of the nerve running along my jaw there and had me sign the paper (I was shaking so bad my signature looks terrible). Then the main doctor left and the head helper nurse type started getting everything lined up. I counted 34 tools. I was going to take a picture, but thought that might be a little uncouth. Right as she finished up the soundtrack to West Side Story (it was My Fair Lady the time before) came on (rather timely after my Civic Plaza viewing this past weekend). I was a little nervous so I was a bit blabby and told the doc about Friday. She loves West Side Story (I then judged her, the movie is kind of boring {girls I may have to start later, unless it is just being verbally critical}). Then she got me all set. I took Rach's advice and closed my eyes for the ordeal and just sort of relaxed. Luckily it was a closed mouth thing. However I have not learned to close my ears or my nose. I could hear her asking for scalpels, and suction, and explorers, and irrigation. I could also hear the blade hitting my teeth, her scraping away, and asking for main assistant to grab such and such bone and root, the other assistant to retract my lip and the other assistant to suction (that is four people up in my grill, not one being superfluous). Then came the part where they took the ends of my roots. Here comes the drill (my father can make that noise perfectly) and the smell that comes with it. As well as the other dental noises. Then she took forever to get me all sutured up. Then I opened my eyes as they were wiping blood off from all over my face. Friends, it was not fun, and I'm starting to swell and not be so numb.

Music is my boyfriend

2009-06-24T07:51:00.005-06:00

Some bands/musicians you just have to see. I'm so stoked to be going to a concert in August with Rach. There are many reasons: for one it is the week after going to Kemmerer for ORMF! For another last time I wanted to see Bob I was driving away from the city. Also because I get to see quite possibly one of the best song writers of history. Too bad he's not famous for those songs. Oh and I get to see someone that atleast write one song about Jack and Diane. And of course, some time with a bestie is always a good one. You just have to love these guys, because more or less Willie, and Bob, and even John are awesome.

There are some songs you just love because they are awesome. For example the kid and I listen to Jump in Line at least 25 times a day. This is something I am not complaining about. Second most played in our daily play list is a very guilty pleasure of mine. If you are going to have a pleasure, it might as well be guilty, right? You know how there are some songs/bands you just love to hate and hate to love? Well I have more of those than I can even count. Then there are songs/bands you just love for no other reason than someone really close to you just hates it. So you make a point to listen to it every time he/she is around. Then one day when you are alone you hear the song, and you are like yes this is muy queso but also pretty good. I like that feeling of being on a carousel and how catchy it is. I don't care if their last big hit was also a guilty pleasure of sorts. I am going to listen to this. Oh and if I accidentally sing it when it is not on that is o-k also. Oh and if the kid I'm spending a lot of time loves the song more power too it. So you jam out and count out to the song happy as clam. All the time thinking yes this song is now a legit guilty pleasure but going back to the roots it makes you laugh because you think of the person that just loathes the song. So now you've got double pleasure out of the song. Bonus! Well then there is a fork in the whole scheme. You keep the song in the play list for the kid's sake but instead of laughing in your head your a little bit saddened. Thinking of those times of just driving your friend nuts that just won't come around again. However, there is hope! You start to move on, and you know you are for the most part better when with or without the kid you crank the dial when you hear those first guilty carousel notes.

Oh great, a gate!

2009-06-16T18:40:00.002-06:00

So the gate has gone back up. Apparently the pup was not quite ready for all the freedom it entailed (or pup's owner was not ready for the responsibility that came with a wild and free dog). She is however rockin' out in her bedrooms. Bonus. Right now I feel like a bit of a tool. She hates tennis, but I make her go. Every day after tutoring she tries to think of some way out of it. Today's excuse? I just want to go home and help dad do chores. What a crock! Hahahah, after tennis she wanted nothing to do with said chores... too bad she had to do them anyways. Her dad ended up having the day off, which means it won't be as long as I had originally thought. Life in a stranger's house isn't too bad. I try to help out as much as possible. Things are pretty alright. Still a lot of waiting going on. I sent out an email in regards of my biggest endeavor. The reply being my application was being processed and have some patience. So just waiting and trying to entertain a kid or two.

Louise y Anna

2009-06-09T14:31:00.003-06:00

Well, been steadily doing the new gig. I get along really great with the kid. I get along well with most kids younger than me. Some of things she says are classic and things I could never get away with saying. We start the day with some breakfast (a habit I'm getting more into {I thank the meds}) and some constant nagging so that we can get out the door in time. Then we hurry on over to get our learn on. Well for her to get her learn on, I just sit on the patio and read. Then we meander over to Summer Prep. Upon arrival do some math facts and some chatting (we have an hour to kill between tutoring and tennis). Then off to get our tennis on. Well for her to get her tennis on, I just sit on the bleachers and read. Then back to the house to get our lunch on. This is something we both participate in! Then a quick nap and off to the pool or something fun like that. Now this all varies based on work schedules of the parents. But life is good, other than the annoying movie here or there.

I finally got all moved into the room. It is very nice. I've finally found most of my way around the kitchen and other house areas. Oh and I know where to go if the remote needs some resetting. The kid is starting to move upstairs. Which means that Toro can come up and visit us. Which means that the gate on the stairs is gone. Now I can stop envisioning my head going through the wall as I trip over this barricade. So far the new life is a good life.

Ties that bind.

2009-06-07T15:36:00.005-06:00

It's odd how living with a family makes you pine for your family so much. Maybe it isn't that odd. However, I am me and I'm very independent for the most part. So for me it is odd. This pining could also deal with the fact that I have to go to dentists alone, and set up appointments alone. True my friend family members are willing to give their right eyes for me, but they're not the ones who were there before.

I'm strong to the finish, cuz I eats all my spinach...

2009-05-29T08:03:00.004-06:00

So the swelling has gone down... a bit. The pain has gone down... a bit. Why does this always happen to me? Tuesday I started noticing some pain in my mouth where I had just had all that root surgery done. Remembering a near death experience I had had months after my Wisdom Teeth getting pulled I called Vesna ASAP.

With my Wisdom Teeth I thought I was just going crazy... plus I'd been hit in the face with a desk. My father didn't think I looked to be swollen and told me if it still hurt to call not my dentist but Karen (the lady who removed the teeth). He was flying to Milwaukee.Which I did, I was getting puffy and yellow (the bruise came from the desk I think). Karen came in and saw my right side first and was doubting it was anything and perhaps I should call Karl, but decided to look inside any ways. This is about the time she saw the left side of my face. She immediately wrote out a Rx and proceeded to explain how had I waited any longer the swelling could move forward in my mouth which would then force my tongue against my pallet and potentially suffocate me in my sleep. Oh joy! I about died. So I called my dad and left him a lovely message stating that I about died.

Well due to this history of mine I got into Vesna's ASAP. I had started to swell just a little. She took an X-Ray which showed virtually nothing but healthy teeth. She got on the phone with the other dentist and gave me some antibiotics and told me to go see her. So off I went on my painful way. I got my meds and went home to eat dinner. Well due to the pain, and the large amounts of ibuprofen in a kind of empty stomach along with my new regime of meds I got sick. All night long till about 3. I finally went to bed and woke up to a huge Popeye-like chin. Apparently being sick does not help swelling. I basically slept all day and was very reluctant to meet Rachel for our outing we planned weeks ago. I'm not vain but I feel ugly. I did not want to venture out like that. People laughed, and these are people I know. Boo.

Last night was able to get some narcotic aided sleep (due to half a dose and the fact I was so tired I had virtually no trip). This morning I woke up sore and a little less puffy. But it still hurts. My face and neck are tight, I can't open the mouth to widely, it just tastes not good in there, and I look like I got in a fight. Which may have been a better story.

My life calling is for sure not school nurse.

2009-05-18T09:43:00.004-06:00

On Friday I was substituting for my class and I loved it. It was quite a full day of nothing really. We watched Old Yeller, which is a lot for youth and adult the same. They had the opportunity to miss out on quite literally the saddest scene to ever hit the big screen or to stay and brave it out. Then after lunch they had a health talk with the nurse. It was the last on their series of 5th grade sex ed. Well times are a changing and these kids are learning more at this age than I had needed to know at that age. The nurse was asking them questions and they were giving some wild answers. It was awful, and I was relieved when Anne leaned over and said that this was painful. Glad to know I wasn't the only awkward one in the room. Then the nurse turned it around and let the kids ask questions. Well maybe the kids were still thinking about the horney toads in Old Yeller, but they had plenty of related questions. And I'm not talking lizards. It was one time when I was glad to be saved by the bell. We finished the day with ice cream socials and escaped any post discussion Q & A sessions. After I went to work and got to tell all my stories. My fellow workers loved it (I doubt they'd love it if they were there, but I'm just saying). Then finished the night off with a dance. It was fun despite some key people's absence (yes I'm talking Rach and Pam). Then after that, the weekend was kind of a boring bust. Funny how it works that way.

Run for the zoo, and run through the zoo too!

2009-05-06T09:47:00.001-06:00

So Sunday was the big day. Guess what! I did it! I finished it. We got there way too early, jogged around the bit and just got more and more nervous. Honestly the pit had been in my stomach for a solid week. Ol Red decided he was going to save himself for his next big race (a halfer in about a week) and ran with me. Oh am I glad he did. I kept telling me he could go on ahead if he wanted (secretly hoping he would so I could walk), but he didn't. Things I remember of the race: smashed frogs all over the place (it had rained the day before), thinking the third mile was the longest ever. In fact, about the time I had thought we had not ran three miles we get to the fourth mile (cruel trick Run for the Zoo, cruel trick). Then after the fourth mile getting to the parts I'd ran before. It is terrible because you come around the corner and you are running north and you know the zoo is south. Then all the workers telling you it is just around the corner (here is a secret... it is not... you can't even see it when you turn that last corner). Oh and finally my kick which was a hoax. I had nothing...I was spent.

As you can see in the picture I am way more red than any human should be! I don't know how I was even standing. Today I still don't know how I am standing. Legs are in revolt. I did it in less than an hour! I took 671st over all out of 1122. In the women 20-24 age group I took 31st out of 60! I'm pretty pleased, shocked and happy! I mean it wasn't anything like fellow New Mexican Mine That Bird, but I say it will do!

After my race we waited to see Dan and his GF finish, but turns out he "slept in" (personally I think he was bluffing the whole time, but that doesn't matter). So we found Pam and got her pumped for her Zoo Run debut. I think I was almost more pumped for her to do this amazing event than she was. I was so pumped! While watching her race I got so see some Monte Vista runners, which of course meant lots of hugs. It was bueno! Then there she was in all her awesome glory, the and only Pamsicle! I am so proud of her! She decided on Wednesday to do the run and here not even a week later was running 3.1 miles all at once, and she made sure to get in in less than 40 minutes. What a rock star! Look at that picture! She is a rock star! Then we waited for the mile because we knew some people doing that one.

It was time for a little more water and then off to the zoo. My favorite part. It is why the zoo run is tons of fun! The only thing is all the people. Remember there was 1122 in my race? Well that was the first of 4 races. This year was the largest event ever! More than 8000 people. Now, not all of those people were at the zoo at the same time, but a solid chunk was. Just a little overwhelming. We didn't see all of the animals but the important ones! Here is stellar picture of a giraffe. Look at his tongue! The tongue creeps Pam out! I think it is cool! In total the day was a success! Oh and I may have overheard that we may be helping them get penguins! Just a rumor though!

Myriameter

2009-04-29T16:13:00.000-06:00

This weekend is my favorite cause! I love the Run for the Zoo! It is sponsored through Presbyterian hospital and all the moneys go towards the zoo and making the habitats better for the critters (even the smelly ones).

However... who am I kidding. I am such a poser. I'm not a runner, I just love the cause. So why have I signed up for the 10k. I could do the 5k no sweat (that's a lie, I'd probably sweat). This is why I signed up for the 10k. Which is twice as long! To make matters worse of the people I know I'm the only gal doing the 10er. I know plenty of boys doing the 10, and plenty of people doing the 5. So I'm going to have to tough it out alone! And by tough it out I mean literally not die!

Forget your troubles, come on get happy!

2009-04-28T10:23:00.000-06:00

So for no good reason I was in a funk last week. Sunday I went over to the lovely casa de Rach and had a very enjoyable time. I took along a chum and it was good. Well, maybe the drive home was just too quite or I was looking to my inward-self way too much, but about the time I rolled on back into town I was in what I love to call a funk. Not a very common occurrence, but it happens every once in a great while. Normally I just push on through by myself, but this time I opted to list a recruit (previously mentioned chum). Well this was a mistake... chum was a bit of a chump. Which... you guessed it sent me even more into a mood. I kept the mood for quite some time, the only relief was when Rach, Pam and Sev came into work to visit me at my work. It was so nice! The mood was alleviated, however I was still viewing my chum as quite a chump. The worse part was I had dinner plans with said chump on Thursday. Luckily I had Rach coming and Jack Attack. That should be enough distraction. Well Jack Attack is a little whack and flaked on us. So just Rach and the Chump. Later in the parking lot the Chump went in for a move on Rach, and she refused and said I looked perturbed by the whole ordeal. I was annoyed, but not by their potential liaisons. Well luckily I can't stay mad long, and decided to mention and speak it out with the Chump. After all--I would rather have him be a chum on his birthday. After talking it out I felt worlds better. Since then I've been almost beyond control bubbly. Things are falling into place for certain endeavors of mine. Really, life is coming up roses!

Sticks & Stones, Love

2009-04-06T14:09:00.001-06:00

The other day I was shooting some hoops at a nearby Middle School. There was a whole gaggle of 8th grade (maybe 9th) hoodlums. As well as some folks letting their dogs run. Then a car drove off and dropped of this kid probably in 6th grade to shoot some hoops. This kid was totally a Bobby's World type kid. Take Derek's body and Bobby's head and there you have this kid. He was just shooting around and we had a killer game of Horse going on. Well then I heard one of the hoodlums telling the kid to give him the ball and were just being dips. So I looked over, the main hoodlum looked at me and said "Not you, you're just annoying!" Folks...I was verbally assaulted by a pre-teen adolescent! These kids had foul mouths, didn't believe in belts or haircuts for that matter and we're attacking me. I just don't even know what to say.

I'm a spring chicken!

2009-04-01T13:17:00.000-06:00

April is here, which means it is time to celebrate! Happy Birthday Mari, Happy Birthday Mads, Happy Birthday Ana, Happy Birthday Leah, Happy Birthday Dan, Happy Birthday Vanessa, Happy Birthday Sev, Happy Birthday Gordon, Happy Birthday Katie Kincaid, Happy Birthday Chris, and Happy Birthday Madi's sister! Those are just the ones I am roughly aware of. In fact, very few of these people will read this...ever. Happy Birthday still the same.

Oh plus, it does happen to be my birthday this month. I am so stoked to go Moab! It has been too long since I've gone adventuring in this wonderful place! I'm heading down on my birthday and meeting the family. Then we are going to go hiking and jeepin' and have a rip roarin' good time. I am so stoked! I don't even have the words! My main concern is my camera battery dying! Yikes!

If I missed your April birthday my sincerest apologies!

To scream or not to scream?

2009-03-13T12:08:00.000-06:00

So life is very overwhelming. I keep filling out apps. and to be honest they scare me to death. I know that I am probably very well equiped to handle a classroom of my own. However, my gut didn't get the memo (nor my face, ahh the breakouts that come along with stress). The idea of having my own kids scares me crazy style. After all I'm just a kid myself (I know, I know my encroaching birthday might argue otherwise). The funniest thing of it all is my biggest app. endeavor has me the least worried. I feel like I could really do this, and that it would actually help me out for my classrooms of tomorrow. Oh such is life. I'm just a scared mess.

Ode To Pam!

2009-02-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

Another reason to love Valentine's day!

Last week in all the whirlwind Pam may or may not have given me a Valentine. I tried to be all cool (key word is try, I am such a baby) about it, but failed misserably. So on Sunday she made up for it big time! I love that Number One Red-Head! She is killer at kick ball and knock-out!

You Choo Choo Choose Me?

2009-02-12T13:11:00.001-07:00

So plain and simple... I heart Valentine's Day! Really Valentine's is all about perspective. You can choose to love it or hate it, me? I choose to love it big time! Last week for Valentine's we did a Valentine exchange. The ladies of the mob opted to show our boys that we heart them by making killer shirts! We heart Adam (and Goonie), Trevor's butt (as well as the rest of him), and Fat Tony (we don't eat Tony), and Kissing Paul (as well as the other boys)!
We also made some killer boxes to stuff full of Valentine's and goodies! I gave the girls some socks! It was awesome!

Here are all the boys we love (well not all the boys, just the ones we made shirts of). Looks like everyone here loves Valentine's!
These two really seem to like Valentine's day!

See Valentine's is great! I love that we dragged it out for a whole week of exchanging, and hot tubbing, and rock climing, and more hot tubbing. It was also nice to be able to go see my kids this week. They still heart me mucho! So Valentine's is que bueno! You know you are loved when you end up with almost a whole box of Fun Dips!

Getting in touch with my roots...

2009-02-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

This summer I had some dental work done for a cavity. Due to the nature of my cavity I didn't get a legit filling but rather a temp. so I could build some dentin. Karl gave me a Rx in case I got an infection. So tra, la, la I went on happy as can be. Well Friday I was whistling a different tune. This tune was full of woe, and whistling was out of the question. I hurt, I hurt bad. I couldn't sleep. I've not slept in days! I went in today to get things analyzed. Turns out I was building more than dentin. I have had an infection for quite some time, but due to my healthy life style have just now been able to figure it out. Due to this my root is basically whithering away. So I got some more meds and will at some point have to get a root canal. Not looking forward at all to that.

In all my woe I have been getting back to my musical roots. Way back, back before my time and even my parents time. Today is the day the music died. It makes me a little sad, I love the music. I'm also said that there has not been more radio acknowledgement, and believe me it's not because I am listening to the wrong stations. I've had to jam to my iPod to get my La Bamba, Peggy Sue, Chantilly Lace, and even American Pie fix.

Wyoming was in town to play the 'Bos last night. At first I wanted to go, but due to my grouchiness from lack of sleep (see paragraph one) I decided to radio it. This reminded me of being home minus the whole Dave Walsh. Not to say I would not have like to hear how he said "the score, oh the score" in a very melancholy way. That is always one of those games I've felt torn cheering about, however since graduation found that the right choice was pretty clear. And it soon became very clear it was the right choice! ;)

If you are chilly...here take my sweater!

2009-02-02T11:19:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we went to Los Alamos for some Super Snow Shenanigans! A whole weekend of fun for only 5 dollars! I'd like to see Rachel Ray do that, I'm just saying, "40 dollars-a-day, oh girl please!" We came home with bruises, smiles, and memories! Let's take a gander at all the happenings:

Just so happy to be there! Woo Hoo!

These sweaters were so dope! (The sad thing... at one time they probably were legit dope!) I think I smell a winner on one of these peeps!

After winning two tug-of-wars the girls challenged just our girls. Pam and I were so happy to take the challenge!

We may have had help, but a win is a win!

Then the boys had a turn!

They fell when it was their turn. Oh man!

We won the tug-of-war! The major reward was hand warmers and ice cream. Just kidding. Everyone got ice cream, the hand warmers though, that is the legit prize!

Then we moved outside and got all bundled up. We are some really good looking snow bunnies.

Going backwards proved to be quite a challenge, but we managed because only the survivors survive!

Ice skating makes people so happy!

Looks like we didn't need those hand-warmers, there was plenty of hand-holding!

These two gentlemen got in a fight. Too bad it wasn't because they were fighting over a girl. It was just because they are macho dopes!

And the winner is... Destroya! Of course the winner of the ugly sweater contest was from our branch. It does make sense considering we were the majority of the people. We are so dope!

Remember those hand-warmers? They also double as really nice butt-warmers. I wouldn't know personally, but ask Rach...seems like she would know, no?

These boys love watching people fall and saying OHHHHHHHHHH! I'm telling you my life is full of laughter!

These girls just love being awesome! It is easy to love being awesome when you do it so well!

Leave the gun, take the cannoli

2009-01-21T23:26:00.000-07:00

I love my peeps, the Mormon Mafia is the best thing since... well ever. I love our names and our sometimes cheesy accents. I love how we the ladies of the van make the Mafia. We are the ones that drive the other members to be... well... stupid with jealousy. I love our bling! Most of all I love that we truly have each others back, and discuss waste management. Thanks ladies for considering me at this time. I do think that someone needs to be taken out of the picture. I also think that with out your back it maybe might not would have happened. So for that thanks, thanks for making an offer I may want to refuse but need to not refuese. I know I'm going to need you to have my back and help me stay strong. However understand, feel free to hang out with who ever you want. It is sweeter than dulce that you want to cement boots a certain sir and I thank you! Grazie!

Land of Enchantement

2009-01-14T13:30:00.000-07:00

So this is a picture I took before Christmas. It was so funny, we were up at the Ogren's house and I had need to move my car. I went out to do it and ran back in screaming to come quickly. This is what we saw. It was amazing. Monday's sunset was amazing. The sky was so gorgeous and yellow and you could see jet trails through it. We went into Trader Joe's and came out and it was even deeper yellow and the rest was almost black. Last night at work the Sandia's were so perfectly pink. Oh man I love this place! It really is enchanting. Another thing of enchantment has been the moon lately. Saturday's full moon was the brightest we will have in 2009. Way to start with a bang!

Moving on up, to the East side...

2009-01-07T09:26:00.000-07:00

Hey kids, I'm here. It is still a little cluttered, but I'm in and doing grand! It will be bueno! And just like George and Weezie I don't have to pay for laundry any more, so that I am most stoked about. I finally got a piece of the pie!

When I was 22, it was a very good year.

2008-12-31T08:40:00.000-07:00

Frank never sang about it, but folks 22 is top notch. Basically there is no better way to put it than 2008 was great, great, great. Now, I realize this is my point of view, but my goodness it matters... to me. So this leads me a little bit wanting to stay back here. After all, I'm not taking much out of 2008. Just memories. Most of the things I loved so much about it are dropping when the ball drops. How could 2009 even compare? I have no idea, but here's looking at you kid. You've got high hopes from one Lou to be promising. I think you can do it. You are already starting out with some great potential on the roomie sector. Now the rest, if you would so kindly deliver!

Oh Joy! Rapture! I got a brain!

2008-12-24T21:58:00.000-07:00

While all the family was in NM I took the opportunity to graduate. I figured what better time than the moment, what with the clan in town and all.

If only that was the story, but kids I finally did it! Hip Hip!! Now just like the Scare Crow I have a brain. I wish the Wizard could have just reached in his bag for my diploma, but I guess I took the more traditional route. Oh! and like the Scare Crow, I too can rattle of the Pythagorean Theory.

It was a nice little weekend I had. I got to see my grandparents which I had not seen in quite a long time. We went and did all those New Mexico things. May I say that River of Lights is pretty bueno, and would be more bueno if they could figure out traffic issues.

Good thing there was no snow at RoL. There was snow on my way home though. We left el Burque around 5 and got into Kmer around 9. Whoa! Now I am home. Spent some quality time with the Duffs yesterday and some down time at home today. Tomorrow is the day of days and on friday I head back to the Land of Enchantment.

2008-12-10T13:05:00.000-07:00

Boy can I really rally the troops. The last thing I would ever do is ask people to take sides, but they inevitably will. Guess what, it kind of feels like they have chosen my side. I feel like such a tool. I'd never ever want this to happen, but friends it is nice to know you have my back and don't think too terribly much less of me. I do try to be a good friend, well a good person in general. It helps that those efforts are acknowledged. It is a blessing to have, for the most part, awesome people to call my own!

Things that are not quite happiness...

2008-12-05T10:58:00.000-07:00

Things that are not quite happiness is having to miss work because of class. Really other than the added money, I don't mind missing work that much. So really, it is more like missing work because of class the night Ewan McGregor decides he wants a Nob Hill trip to Italy. Suck!

Happiness is...

2008-12-04T22:45:00.000-07:00

Happiness is going to the dollar theatre and sharing the traditional bag of popcorn.

Happiness is best friends standing up for each other... even if it is not my best friend.

Happiness is your second favorite red head calling you up because you need a hug (Pam, my number one red, I know you'd do the same).

In fact... Happiness is your number one red head grabbing the bright green calendar for you instead of the lame green calendar.

Happiness is being called "favorite daughter" and "favorite sister" even though you are the only one in the category!

Happiness is focusing on the good my friends, the good!

2008-12-03T15:24:00.000-07:00

Because Rach tagged me:

5 Weird things about me:
1. I don't like talking on the phone.
2. I don't like to go shopping, the people freak me out.
3. I don't enjoy chocolate.
4. I can't touch my toes.
5. I eat pasta 2-3 times a week.

10 Years ago:
1. I moved to Ktown
2. I drove into town every morning with my dad. we listened to paul harvey and Charlton Heston beer commercials (I'm talking pre-real men of genius here kids)
3. I joined the swim team just to avoid a bus ride home with the twinkies
4. I lost a trivia bowl thing because my dad didn't know the rules
5. My hair was still straight

5 Things on my to do list:
1. get a job
2. go to somewhere in asia (right now thailand and japan top the list)
3. read a whole heck lot more
4. paint more often, find my artsy self
5. run a lot (do more 5/10ks maybe even a halfer)

5 Snacks I enjoy:
1. otter pops
2. craisins
3. cereal
4. baby carrots
5. popcorn

5 Things I would do if I was a millionaire:
1. Be one of those green, organic hippie chics.
2. Travel el mundo
3. Buy a house in Albs
4. Buy a Jeep
5. Buy lots of books and tons of music

5 Places I have lived:
1. Kemmerer
2. Marbelton
3. Laramie
4. Buffalo
5. Albuquerque

5 Jobs I have had:
1. KES sub
2. Children's choice
3. KHS custodial engineer
4. the Vivace
5. APS Sub

I tag: Maddie, Lindsay, Mari and Pam

Globes, Glitter, and Mistletoe

2008-11-30T23:06:00.000-07:00

I could just have it be Thanksgiving forever. I loved being able to go and just be at home doing nothing, even if it wasn't my home. I also loved being able to decorate tonight, yet again even if it was not my home (but I did get my blog all snazzy, ya?). Now, I still wonder if my fluff was up to snuff and am curious to see if Rach goes back through and fluffs during the glitter clean up. Regardless if it looks the same this time tomorrow or not I had so much fun. Dinner was amazing, and the company was amazing, and HoCho of course was amazing. I'm so grateful for life. Bueno!

I'm past my prime

2008-11-19T10:23:00.001-07:00

So for the past couple weeks one of the kids has made it known that not only was it her birthday next week, but she was going to be gone to Mexico during her birthday. So yesterday to get one last plug in she comes up to me and is like "I'm bringing in cupcakes tomorrow. I'll probably be up until 10 making them." Ha!

These kids have me exhausted. I have never been so physically tired in my life. This is even harder than being a custodial engineer (of course I was a lot younger then). I've just gotten over my strep, (that they gave me most likely) and now I feel I am getting sick again. My eating habits are kaput (I've been salivating over Thanksgiving for weeks). Oh and I've tried to keep up what little social life I have (which means I have not been to bed by 10 in a long time).

I know that for sure last night I wasn't in bed by 10. We had a birthday party for a friend. I am the lame one that was totally falling asleep at the party. I did it during the movie and then during chill time. I am so old and lame! Then when we finally did leave it was way late. There use to be a time not too long ago that I did that most every night. How? Yo no se!

Tonight I may be conking out at 8 (after ANTM of course)!

The next name I'm going to call is...

2008-11-17T16:56:00.000-07:00

Good times good times. So some how we started a tradition of watching ANTM on wednesday nights. It was over here each week. We mostly ate pasta and fancy bag salad. Well then all the girls left. This year in hopes of keeping my girls alive Mari and I kept it up. We switched things up, one week here one week there. The host makes the dinner the guest brings dessert. Well last week we had a guest! My dear roomeo of yesteryear Lindsay.

Before I continue I would like to point out I like my spuds lumpy and with peels. Lindsay didn't so here she is peeling them. Notice she is peeling them into the sink. Bad idea. She clogged the disposal. No bueno! Here we are trying to fix it:

Eventually we had to stop trying to fix it and get dinner ready before Tyra came on. So we watched the show, wrote a work order for the sink and then took an oppurtunity to smile with our eyes.

I'm still wondering why Tyra and Nigel haven't called us up. I am also wondering when I am going to get my sink fixed. That is right still not fixed. We can't use the sink or the dishwasher. Which means we can't do dishes. I'm living off popcorn! Granted I could think of worse things to be living off of, but it would be nice to do dishes (did I just say that?).

Oh roomeo, roomeo, what have you done!

2008-11-15T09:29:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to bed early and it was amazing! I loved it! I should do that more often. hahaha, man I am old!

Anthony sang me a scandalous poem!

2008-11-09T23:56:00.000-07:00

Oh my heck! I'm half way done with my assumption! I love it! I could really do with out the teacher across the way getting me sick part, but oh well. See if I let her borrow my keys next time she locks hers in the classroom. hahah, just joshing that would be rude! However not in joshing this sickness does stink (and I'm not just talking about the actual sickness). I've been layed up in bed for almost 48 hours. Today I went to church not only to go to church but just to get some time away from my casa. Now of course how it always goes after being sick, when i really need to go to sleep to be all refreshed for manana I am wide awake. I do feel loads better, but not 100%. I haven't been this sick since the pneumonia bout of 01. But I think the worse has happened! Wahoo!

Shape Up or Ship Out

2008-10-29T08:44:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I layed down the law. I told the short ones if they didn't shape up that the next three weeks were not going to be fun for anyone. Not fun for them and really not fun for me. Let us see how today goes. Really they are not behaving too much worse than before, but for now I got to keep the leash tight.

There's only one October!

2008-10-17T16:19:00.000-06:00

Last night it was all on the line. I asked Mads to keep me posted on the score. The first text I get is awful...2 run homer by the rays...no outs in the top of the first. boo

Oh this is awful, and I am stuck at work. Then I get nothing and nothing and nothing, so of course I bug! 5-0. Boo. and another saying they aren't really watching any more it is too horrible.

Oh I have basically given up hope...there is only one October and this apparently isn't ours.

Later Leah comes and taps on the window. She shows me 7 fingers and then 0 fingers, then points and to the eye and drags the tear down. I copy the sentiment thinking the game is over.

Then right about the time I am getting off work I get a text. 7-6 in the 8th! We are so close!

So I grab red and we head over to Snob Hill, get there just in time to see the score become 7-7. We keep watching and my boys win! I love J.D. Drew! Granted I am so a poser. I have loved the Sox since my brother moved out East, which thankfully was before the 04 win! So at least I am not a bandwagon poser! Oh kids, there is only one October!

So Mads was not the only one texting me in my boredom at work. I get a text from brother! Woo hoo go Frogs.

I reply with a huh, and get this response! TCU is beating Pue 17 to 00000000000!

Which means with 2 days before the first BCS that it is looking like the Runnin' Utes will be more likely to represent the MWC than oh I don't know the Cougs! I love October!

Holy Fortnight Batman!

2008-10-15T10:21:00.000-06:00

Halloween is two weeks away. I still have no idea what I am dressing up as. I don't want to do to anything too over the top for school. Really one of those costumes that is just barely a costume. Dani and Chris wanted me to join them to be a B52. Great idea, yes! However, how crazy would I look with out the rest of the gang. The kids suggested an evil librarian. Which could be the back up. What is even scarier than Halloween being two weeks away is my full assumption being two weeks away. It is crunch time. I feel like I have such a standard to meet, and I have to meet this standard while covering the standards. I know I can do it, but we will see how friendly I am out side of school. Hopefully I will be able to overcome the stress to be pleasant!

Why can't the days get longer in fall!

2008-09-22T16:32:00.000-06:00

Life has been busy. Life has been crazy. Life is crazy busy! Yesterday at work (hopefully the last sunday for a while) I was asking Ana if she worked Thursday. She said no, I said, "Well Thursday is my day to hang out with B and J. Come join us!" I'm young! Why do I have to schedule my friends in!? Because life is hectic! I can just imagine what November is going to be like. However, with all this craziness I really have nothing of mention to say. Well nothing worthy of the van. hahaha, well maybe, but I may save it for the van.

Why didn't I see it coming?

2008-09-16T21:46:00.000-06:00

So today I get this call from a fiery red headed friend of mine. He's asking what I'm doing for lunch on friday. I reply "I'm in school all day silly" (and yes that is a direct quote). He says oh, well we need to find some time to get together I really want to hang with you. Gulp. I feel as if this invite is for sure stepping on that friend line. Yo no se what to do. We are really good friends, and I really like that. I may have made it worse. I said well I am busy all day everyday, he said well I am up at night you know. I said yes we can make it work. Then I hung up and realized that he was going over that line. So obtuse I am! I should have seen it coming. This weekend when we were talking I kept mentioning my tall, dark and handsome friend in AZ, and he jokingly told me to not talk about him any more. I thought he was for serious joking but he was just barely joking. Oh mans. Oh mans.

In other news I am so in love with the new iPods and the new iTunes updates. I so love music and seeing the Gin Blossoms and hearing them do my favorite song of theirs plus an Elton cover was an amazing encore! I so love music! Too bad my fiery red headed friend doesn't like the Beach Boys or the Doors, then maybe I could deal better.

"Life is about 70% ebb, and like 10% flow. The rest just sucks"-Joey Minarsich

2008-09-14T21:54:00.000-06:00

I may or may not have been communicating with someone Saturday. He asked how I was doing and I honestly said amazing. Which got me to thinking oh a similar convo we had last week at the same time when I was sick, congested and having a pity party. Why such a change? Is it simply the fact that I can breath again and am no longer sick? HECK NO!!! Is it as Tim was try to be a philosophical about with the ebbs and flows of life? HECK NO!! Is it because last week was Summer and this week is Autumn busting through!? HECK YES!!

Autumn is amazing!

Autumn is crisp!

Autumn is stew!

Autumn is sweaters and corduroy!

Autumn is zucchini!

Autumn is Harry Nilsson!

Autumn is hocho, and apple cider!

Autumn is balloons and cranes and leaves!

Autumn is Calvin and Hobbes!

Autumn just is!

Good watching

2008-09-10T18:15:00.000-06:00

It is no secret that I love Jeopardy. I watch it almost religiously. I am watching it now. I found out on monday that this is the 25th season! How awesome is that! So far this season has been amazing. Alex is in awesome form tonight! I love it, he is really rooting for the contestants! Oh, and I feel it makes me so smart. How could Furby not like it?

They call me Sarge and I am Large and in Charge (compared to a short one)

2008-09-08T22:47:00.000-06:00

Not to get all Sally Field on you are anything, but "They like me, they really like me." Today the short ones had library and as we were walking back my past bf Cesar gave me a hug (probably why I was so huggy, that little guy does it to me) and was all happy. I commented that I was glad I got positive recognition and not negative. My teacher said they all seam to like you, even our kids. Then told about how when she said she was leaving at lunch I got a little wahoo from to of my current students. Later she asked them what was up and they said the liked me. Well so then when Selena left it was obvious that they liked pushing my boundaries. I had those kids flipping their cards like crazy. One even wrote a note home to his parents for his behavior. I hate that I am the mean one, but there would be mayhem in November if I started out being Lou and not the Sarge.

sick equals ick

2008-09-07T20:18:00.000-06:00

The past few days in casa de Tresann/Lou has been sick. Tresann has been sick all week, I got sick about wednesday and I am almost over it. Almost. I am hoping Tresann gets over it quickly. She needs to sleep! That is what helped me mucho!!

All that red tape

2008-09-03T21:31:00.000-06:00

How did September happen already? I am so glad to spend Labor Day in the best of ways. I really don't know how I managed before. Yes! It was the second annual trip to the zoo. I'm glad we could add more friends to the fun! As Rach knows, and most everyone else because it is not a secret, I love the zoo. Oh, and I love going with friends of all sorts, as Rach knows also. There is just so many awesome things it has to offer! This was my fourth trip this year alone! I am already looking forward to Run for the Zoo 2009, I think I am doing a 10K this time around. I am sure I will be in shape for it if I keep hanging out with my running buddies. I love it! I love being one of the guys and just going around in circles with these guys. They are so motivational and really funny. I am so glad to have an opportunity to get to meet them at this level outside of work. September also has me one step closer to being done...for now. I was discussing with my teacher when it all happens, and it happens soon. I am already almost done with my first unit. Here are the kids hard at work. I was the one that told them to get to work! Isn't that amazing? I wonder though how qualified I am. While watching one of my all time favorite shows ever, ANTM, Mari and discovered we didn't quite know what bureaucracy meant. We both had the same idea. We wanted to google text to find out, but alas couldn't spell it. As soon as I got home I looked it up, as did she. I realize this is not information a fifth grader should know, but I fear that a lot of times I am not smarter than a fifth grader. Which makes me so hesitant about this whole Masters scheme I have going. But fear not, plenty of posts on that to come.

hangin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool, shootin' some bball outside of school

2008-08-26T22:20:00.000-06:00

I threw the ball in his court hoping he would play again some day. I wanted it to roll in the corner and maybe gather dust, but have it still be in the gym so that he could pick it up some day and go, "OH yah, I remember this game it was fun." So much for the dust theory. He sorta played, but I don't know how into the game he is. I'm just going to throw, wait not even throw but roll the ball right back for now.

I can tell we are going to be friends

2008-08-26T21:52:00.000-06:00

So Johnny was my friend first. Because of Johnny Maddie is my friend. Because of Maddie Mari is my friend. As long as there has been Johnny, Maddie and Mari Mari has been with David. Well this summer David and Mari became no more. This month Johnny and Maddie became no more in the sense that they left. Well now Ana and I are at a loss as to how to be Mari's friend. When we knew her before she would do couple like things with John and Mads and we would tag along. It wasn't awkward ever, it was just right. Now we don't know how to be her friend. Whenever we did our singular things she was never there. I know she would like them, but I don't know! Some hard core effort is going to take place!

Whoa random!

2008-08-19T20:06:00.000-06:00

So my glass, it is for sure half empty. But! But don't worry, it may be half empty but I'm drinking rainbows and sunshine. Life really is going great! I started my very first own unit today. It is so nice, I only have about half the class; which so helps a lot! I am reassured with the fact that I am completing school (four months from tomorrow!) soon and it is what I can see myself doing. Really, other than that bad week that sent me into a whirl of blues, August is my month! I've really noticed I am so great at having guy friends, now I just need to work on boyfriends. I have no men on mention. But! But school is starting and maybe they will roll right on in. While I have no men of mention I'm just going to enjoy my guy friends! I love the fellows I work with at work! I love the way they love me, that's right they love me. They say it and everything. Now if I had the same relationship with some one that I could for see a future with I would so freak! However since they are a bunch of pot smoking goobers I work with I am so fine with how I, for lack of a better word, flirt with them. I think I am now officially done being a half-way house. In a whirl wind of summer I'm now on my eighth "roomie" of the summer. Granted some of these were one night stands, but I liked it! I am so glad to have a permanent one, well as permanent as a roomie with wedding plans can be. Life is so so bueno, and I need to remember this! But! But wait, what about my glass being half empty? Well life is whoa sad. John and Maddie left today. May I just tell you how epoch this is. I was talking to my dad about it and he got sad. They aren't even truly his friends. It is going to be rough for a while. I almost cried last night. Me! Almost cried! That is how epoch! I don't know what to do! I didn't even say a real good bye to Johnny! This totally makes my glass not only half empty, but puts a big ol' crack in it! I will survive, I must survive. Only the survivors survive!

I once was lost, but now... heck no!

2008-08-14T20:10:00.000-06:00

I love this week! I cannot believe tomorrow is already Friday!! How did that happen? Even more perplexing: how could last week suck so so much and this week rock so so much? Last week I lost my teacher (she called the day before I was to start), I "lost" my job (through a personal decision), I lost some friends (shout out to Mel!), lost my registration status (and the bill that came with it to pay to avoid dis enrollment), lost my sunglasses (I lost them when I went home but I think the airport stole them in SLC), and lost my ability to be positive (hence the moody blues posts). This week however... I am so found! I found a great teacher (Bobby did really), found a new grade that I love (of course it is only 3 days of 5th), found my registration status (too bad that comes with a bill), found out that they like me they really like me (all my fourth-grader-ex-third-graders love saying hi to me!), found that the Olympics are almost always on t.v (¡¡phound Phelps!!), found a temp roomie for the week (just call me a half-way-house), and found my old totally single awesome groove again (however not-so-single could be fun also, oh well)!

Let's get nostalgic!!

2008-08-07T10:25:00.000-06:00

Here are the directions:
1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you know me a little or a lot, anything you remember!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

Things that go blog in the night!

2008-08-05T23:11:00.000-06:00

Beware, I am about to get personal...I know, crazy!
Tuesday nights at Buffalo Wild Wings is wing night! We were opportunists and enjoyed! While there Jess started razzing Furby about getting a girl and the convo. quickly turned to how many relationships we had been in. First was Furby's story, then Brian and Jess. Then it got to me...I had stayed quiet thus far. Jess wandered if a certain someone counted. Furby said he did very much so because and I quote "Dick is a major catch" to which Brian replied "No, he is just a notch in the bed post" and started singing some Def Leopard. I of course did not answer and just turned red instead (I rarely get personal).
However this does bring up some questions. Does a person being a catch or not give them more points as to whether they are a relationship? Secondly, is this catch of mine just a notch? Had I answered I would have said that he was my only true relationship...even though I have been in "paired off relationships" prior. However we never determined our selves thusly, and really avoided it upon someones departure. Which of course makes things currently tricky. In the crazy LDS world many a couple go through awkward stages that few survive or are meant to survive. It happens when a boy goes away on a mission. He leaves the girl with the command to wait for him unless someone better rolls along. This as we can imagine results in many a Dear John letter.
Well this is not what he and I are...I don't think. However, I am stuck wondering by our situation. (Stay calm...I am going to talk about futures, but don't think that due to T I've got the nuptial itch {Congrats by the way}) I can't say whether or not I can see him and I having a future or getting married or anything... but I do see myself being happy with someone very much like him. Which of course makes me want to wait until January to see what happens, it is only 5 months (and I know this not because I am counting the days of his return... but rather the days to commencement {it will finally be my turn}). However doesn't this make me look lame for waiting? What if he decides maybe he didn't really take a fancy to me (unlike a missionary he can look also)?What if he was not all that?
So the other option is not waiting. Which means do I go looking for someone? That sounds like a desperate bad idea. So I wait for someone. Well in 22 years I've found one person I am legitimately fond of, so what are the odds of finding another in the next little while. What if I don't find any one, then of course I look like I waited even if I didn't.
I am so lost... I've decided to not wait, but not go looking. This would be easier if people weren't always asking about him and assuming I know everything about his where-abouts and such. It would also help if Furby's statement about his catchliness (yeah I made the word up) was a little bit more false. It would also help, if to quote a certain Beatle "people didn't fill the world with silly love songs". Yo soy loco!